Clarification

After my mom asked me "You okay?" on g-chat today, I re-read my post yesterday and realised I sounded a little down. I'm actually not! I've had a great weekend, watched way too much TV and movies, but also managed to play the guitar, do pilates, go running, buy some great spring clothes, eat really yummy healthy food, go out for drinks with a couple friends, and sit out on my roof terrace watching the clouds drift by. My comments about being lonely were meant to be passing, just like the feeling was!

I've decided to just get better at the guitar since I can't have a piano right now. I just need to learn enough chords so I can write stuff and play around - I'm almost there, but not quite. It's frustrating because I'll hear where I want the thing to go next in my head, and can't find it on the strings! Whereas on the piano, it's so easy to feel it out. Anyway, it will come, if I keep playing :)

I found a church I think I will try out next week, it's Anglican, and they talk about this idea of "inclusivism" which isn't a word. But they do a decent job of explaining what they mean by it, and I think it's just what I need right now. Maybe I'll like it, and they'll like me, and I'll get to play their concert grand sometime :D

Life moving rapidly

Right, so I've basically ignored my blog while my life went beserk-o. London book fair (crazy week for work), packing, moving, unpacking, crying inside while I waved goodbye to my piano...

Meanwhile, spring has arrived in London. Whoopee!! I mean, it took its precious time, but today was simply glorious - I went running in Hyde Park (a statement that will soon lose its novelty as I can't seem to NOT go running now that I live so close) and I was actually "hot". This is a strange state of being for the Londoner. Especially since I think the last time I was "hot" was probably September. I had just unpacked my summer clothes from moving, which was fortunate, because otherwise I may not have known where to find a short-sleeve shirt and, oh, what do call those things? Ah right, "sandals." Anyway, I loved it. It only lasted about 6 hours, the wind and clouds came and it returned to mild but still pretty, but it was nice to know it was possible.

I love my new place. I mean, LOVE IT. It's going to be tough in a couple months if I decide I want to stay in this area and have to fork over a larger percentage of my salary than is ever a good idea, but it's just perfect.

I just cooked for myself for the first time in ages, and I did such a good job it made me wish I had someone to cook for so they could tell me how wonderful I was. Kidding. Sorta. It did make me slightly lonely, guess I was due for that one, had been a while with a house full of people. I may have resented having to share my space, but it did distract me from the thoughts of why exactly did I want to be alone so much? Anyway, it's been a great day, and rather than try and go out with my new flatmate, I've decided to stay in and watch a movie. Mainly because I need to erase the movie I watched last night, No Country for Old Men. Really good film, just not good to watch after two glasses of wine late at night by yourself in a big new place. I think I finally fell asleep at 5am after turning back on my laptop to watch clips of the The Daily Show - better to have visions of Obama and Hillary than being killed with an air gun.

Yay London! Yay Eurostar!

Yes, I am very much a fan of the Eurostar. 2 hours and I'm in Brussels - no airline check in, no delays, no hassle, from the center of one city to the center of the other - it's soooo nice.

Before the weekend began, I had found a flat! It's PERFECT! Has a huge room (I have my own couch) a roof terrace, located 2 minutes walk from Hyde Park, 10mins walk from several tube stations, walking distance to Notting Hill, walking distance into town, could walk into work if I was really ambitious! Only downside, it's only for 2 months :( BUT I'll just have a blast those two months and find out what cool place I'm heading next! Another great London flat, a change in cities, who knows! :)

With that great piece of news, I headed off to Belgium for an awesome 3 days of touring. I arrived in Brussels, got the hotel key from my friend (on a work trip so at the office for the day), dropped my bags off, and starting wandering through Grand Place - beautiful architecture, found the Mannekin Pis (not really all that impressive), the chocolate museum, and the Museum of Musical Instruments. Wow. That was possibly the one museum in the world where I could spend more time than my brother, the museum marathonist, would. It was so cool to see all the instruments, listen to them play on the headsets, and marvel at the pianos. Oh the pianos...sigh...so many!

Saturday my friend and I got up early for a day trip to Bruges/Brugge - which was every bit as picture-perfect as it's supposed to be. Lots of tourists everywhere, but still very nice. It was rainy at the beginning, but then the sun came out and it was beautiful! Took a boat trip, climbed the Belfort (366 steps), ate some mussels, nice day!!

Sunday was chill out in Brussels day - beer museum, beer tasting, waffles, chocolate shopping, good times. I headed back that night, full of chocolate and beer and happiness. :)

Can something, anything, just be stable for a sec?

I haven't blogged in forever...so long that this is probably pointless because anyone who ever read my blog has forgotten I had one. But I need to write, and somehow just journaling like I used to doesn't seem to do the trick. The Guardian, a newspaper here in the UK, came out with the "50 most influential blogs" and it got me thinking, why do I blog? I don't have any aims at being influential, not even influential enough to have random people other than friends and family read my ramblings. So what then, is the point? I think I came up with it just now - for me, it's helpful to have some 'statement' I can put out there about my thought, experiences, opinions that I'm willing for the world to see - even if that world never actually reaches beyond a few people. Just being able to sign off and say "This is me today" is a grounding feeling. Especially in times like this, when I have 4 weeks to move out of my flat, an uncertain job situation, a crisis of life goals, and the knowledge that the only thing allowing me to keep the "life" I've started in London, is the job keeping me from pursuing the "life" I think I want.

March, it turns out, has been the craziest month I've had in ages. My brother visited and we had a blast touring Normandy and Paris, and I loved France. LOVED IT. I went to Paris for work and still loved it, even when we missed our train back to London, which happened to be the last one that night, and had to stay in a dodgy hotel near Moulin Rouge! Oh, and I found out I had to move out of my house because our landlord sold it. Add this to all kinds of job 'fun' and relationship speculation, plus several attempts (accidental) to kill myself by falling down stairs and into trains, and you have a really, really bizarre month. I'm definitely glad there's only 2 more days in it!

I'm now spending all day looking at flats, an activity that will be repeated many times over the next couple weeks...I got lucky with an amazing place but I was afraid of signing the lease for the 6 months and hesitated...so I lost it to the more eager flat-hunters that viewed it after me. Kinda pathetic that I can't even commit to four walls and a shower. And ironic, for someone asking for something to be stable. I like a few constants, but on my terms (i.e., short-term) and nothing too close to home.

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day in the UK. I had fun confusing my mother tonight when I called and said "Happy Mother's Day!" It's weird how the two countries can be a full 2 months apart in their selected day of celebration. I'm worried though, because I won't have the commercials for sales and gift ideas that alerted me to the fact it was Mother's Day here when it's Mother's Day in the US. So Mom, I apologise in advance if I'm late with a card/gift this year!!

I've had a fantastic week/end! Tuesday night a group of us from work went to play Urban Golf as a leaving do for a guy that's moving to the US office from this one. It was fun - you hit this wall that's a mat with the screen projection of a golf course, which simulates the outcome of your shot. Adds a little interest to the driving range!

Friday night I went to the theater to see "A Sarajevo Story" - it was a really good play, using cameras and streaming video with a small cast to tell the story of an American family. The mother is a judge in modern-day Sarajevo, father a sound designer in NY/London, and daughter in Vermont. The theater is right near my work, so we had appetizers and drinks before and stopped back in a pub afterwards as well.

Saturday I lounged around watching TV on itunes in bed :) Then went running to the store, bought groceries and took the bus back. Saturday night's plans went through about 9 versions before finally ending up with option:amazing! A friend of mine picked me up in her car to go out to Old Street (trendy East London area) for a friend's birthday party. It was fun, music not the best, but still dance-able :) The boys were dressed in their finest - painted faces and all! I had my attempt at interesting dress with some blue tights.

I left there and walked to a friend's place where she was having a bit of a girl's night, which was fun. We starting watching Audrey Hepburn movies but fell asleep halfway through Funny Face. Don't have the tolerance for old musicals anymore...interesting that my attention span needs more of a complicated plot - and to have that plot interrupted by pointless songs.

This morning, we woke up, had coffee, yoghurt and honey and bagels, and headed to the Columbia Flower Market. There was a bustling crowd, all kinds of plants, herbs and beautiful flowers for sale - I got a little plant with what looks like orange cherry tomatoes on it for my desk at work :) Took all the plants back to my friend's flat, had a cup of tea, and then went to Brick Lane for some market shopping. I can't believe I've lived in London 9 months and never been there! Loved it! Found some great jewelery and two cute tops, ate Ethiopian food and fell hopelessly in love with a pair of Chloe shoes that I (wisely) didn't let myself buy.

Finally headed back to the "west-side" this afternoon - tired but happy. :) It was so nice to get to stay out there - it's 1 or 2 hours from my house to Old Street/Shoreditch, depending on time of day and luck. Spent the rest of today booking planes, trains, and ferries for the trip Matt and I are taking to Normandy - he arrives in London Saturday!!

Back to life, back to reality

It's really nice when returning your 'life' is a good thing!! The week at work in the US was amazingly stressful, productive, rewarding, and fun all at the same time! I'm encouraged about my job, the future, and life in general. After a week full of family and friend visits, I rented a car and drove down to Columbia on Friday night, got to see my "Blythewood family" for an inspiring talk. Two of their four kids are working in a school for urban poor and refugee children (www.strawberryd.com) where I went a couple summers ago. They use Montessori and have had incredible success turning these children's lives around.

I also got to see my cousin and my kitty - since my cousin has 'adopted' Xai-xai while I'm in the UK, so that was cool. I stayed there and got up in the morning to head over to my friend's house for breakfast! She's due in May, and this was my first time seeing her pregnant - we've been good friends since 6th grade, so it will kinda be like being an aunt. :)

Left from there to drive on to Atlanta and eat lunch with a college friend at Fellini's Pizza - classic hotlanta yumminess! I was having serious nostalgia the whole day - mainly from all the trips I took from Columbia to Atlanta while with Mike, and just the whole intense experience that was living in Atlanta when I finally lived there.

Flight back to London was great - had a whole row to myself! First time since moving that I have flown overnight to arrive on a non-work day, and it was soooo much better. I got in, took a nap, got up and had a relaxing Sunday afternoon. Then, it was party time!! It was a friend's birthday, who is a dj, and thus has several dj friends so they found a cool bar to have all their friends over and they rotated dj-ing for the night. Much dancing and good times occurred...but I had to cut it kinda short so I could have enough rest to fight the jet-lag this morning!!

Tonight, the festivities continued with Mexican night - my flatmates dad (from Mexico) is visiting, so he brought his tortilla press and various Mexican sundries, and they made this amazing dinner - with some potently yummy margaritas! We had a bunch of people over, it was a great family feel, kinda like Christmas was.

I took heaps of pictures of both events, so I'll have to get those up on flickr soon. So far London has put on a spectacular display of reasons why I love living here so much! :) I played the piano after everything died down both nights too, it's hard to remember what I was whinging about...

Trip #4

I can't believe I'm in the US for my fourth visit since moving. It's almost too much! I have had a big reality check though in being grateful for my situation. I mean, what are the chances of finding another job in a location like London that includes work trips to 10miles away from my mom's house?

This time I flew to Atlanta to see my great aunt and uncle before coming to NC. London-Atlanta is about 2hours longer a flight than London-DC, and almost that much further than London-Raleigh...so I'm not sure I'll make that particular trip again. 9 hours is a long time to keep yourself entertained - especially when it's the all-day flight so you're not really tired enough to sleep a lot! And I have started this terrible habit of falling asleep for the last 30 minutes of the flight - they turn off the in-flight entertainment, and it's too late to start reading a book or anything else, so I end up nodding off until the 'ding' sounds that I can take off my seat-belt. It's really not a good thing to do, because when I wake up I'm disoriented and people are jostling about and I have to rush and find all my items strewn about my seat and re-pack my carry-on bag!

I made it through customs and to baggage claim, and then took the Marta (nothing at all like the Underground...Atlanta is not known for its public transportation!!) to the north side of the city and a taxi from there. It was so good to see my "substitute grandparents" - and be forced to move really, really slow for two days. :) Spending time with an 88 and 83 year old is a good way to remember how to not have an agenda and just do what you can when you can.

I flew on to Raleigh Saturday night, had a great dinner with Mom and Alan. Sunday I went to church with them, which I really enjoyed, actually. Mom's started singing in the choir, and it was a trip down memory lane to when I was a little girl and she sang in the choir at our old church. She stopped doing that when my brother was born, I think, and it was the first time since then I was sitting in the pew looking up at her sing, instead of her watching me perform. The appreciation of that moment, the hymns we sung, and just the service itself were a great bonus to an already good weekend.

Then we went shopping :D Got stuff for my mom's svelte new figure and some things (like good workout clothes!) that I have trouble finding in the UK. Then I got to help cook dinner with all the fresh ingredients in my mom's kitchen, eat a yummy meal, and plop down in front of the big TV and channel surf. Great to have these few days preceding what will probably be an insanely busy work week.