Back 'home'

I loved Christmas this year. My only regret is that I booked my ticket while drunk. Okay, I wasn't drunk, but that's the only way I can explain why I would have myself fly back so that I could work on the slowest work day of the year, December 28, instead of enjoying a few more days with the family, relaxing, watching football games, taking advantage of super-cheap US-dollar sales...oh well. I get to relax and watch football here, too, it's just on a four-inch screen on my laptop instead of Mom and Alan's 50" TV with surround sound. But that's just numbers. Right.

Anyway, back to the good stuff! Matt and I drove up to the mountain house Sunday morning, arrived in time for lunch. We started putting together a puzzle, pretty much a tradition in my family now, this one I had brought with me from London. And the four days pretty much went like that. It's almost like going into retirement for a test drive, or back in time about 20 years. No internet, no cell phone, no cable - we read, puzzled, went for long walks, watched the extended version of The Return of the King, and pretty much forgot the rest of the world. We went down to my aunt and uncle's house for the day on Christmas Eve, which was awesome, because as my aunt said, I get to see them more now than before I moved to London! It has been a pretty frequent set of trips lately, I'm getting spoiled. Also getting a bit worn out, the traveling wipes me out more than I realize sometimes. I slept 13 hours Friday night and 11 hours last night!

I've made some fairly ambitious New Year's Resolutions. I don't usually do resolutions, but the year is ending as I'm already in a very introspective evaluation-of-my-life phase, so it just fits. One is the guitar, another the piano. I brought back my guitar, so that's been fun to pluck away at, I re-taught myself the one song I learned to play years ago - Time in a Bottle. Random song to learn, but I like playing it. Need to find some other songs so I can learn one a week (that was the resolution). The piano comes Thursday! I don't have a specific goal for it, just to play as much as possible. Once I see how often I get to play, I'll figure out a realistic goal.

Socialising

I move a lot. I make new friends, but rarely hang on to them past the next move. Really, since college, I haven't made a friend that has become close enough to last through the every-six-month changes I go through. This isn't a complaint, I'm fortunate to have a few really good friends from high school and college so I don't feel like I'm lacking friends. But what I've noticed about this current set-up, where I come back to the US so often, is that I get the chance to see people who normally wouldn't last through this move, but because I can sustain the friendship by every 3 months visits, they're lasting a bit longer. It's kinda nice! Last night, I went out with a few friends from work, and then had some people over to the house to hang out and dring mulled wine. It's a nice balance - I have just enough people and depth of relationships for a social life so I don't go crazy bored when I here, but not so much that I miss life here terribly.

What is weird is having this conflict of interest - I love being with people and going out so much more now, but it's still only a very close second to loving being on my own, playing the piano, reading, going for walks. I couldn't decide whether I wanted the house (and new 50" screen TV) to myself last night, or to go to dinner/drinks with my work friends. Fortunately, the dilemma was solved because we are going to the mountains today, where I'll have plenty of chances for 'space.'

It's December 23! As soon as my brother wakes up (I'm unfortunately wide awake since 6:30am) we'll drive to the mountains, then tomorrow we have Christmas with my aunt and uncle and cousins in Winston-salem, and then it's our Christmas :D Going to be such a fun and fast week...I'll be back on the plane Thursday before I have time to register which country I'm in!

I made it!

I'm in my Mom's house, with her beautiful decorations skillfully placed everywhere, presents under the tree, ready to enjoy 6 fabulous relaxing days with my family. Christmas is great. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about the holiday! It's a good sign that for all the questions I can't escape, I'm generally happy and able to appreciate the joy of flying in for just the week. Even though this was the worst trip I've had from London to Raleigh...took over 12 hours with a delayed connection and I have now stayed up to what my body thinks is the next day and I have probably ruined my chances at adjusting properly to the time zone..but who cares! All I have to do this week is eat, sleep, laugh, give and receive gifts, and take long walks in the mountains. Bring it on, jet lag, I will have fun despite you!!

INTP

When I was 16, I was having a major crisis. Like many teenagers, I had no friggin' clue what I wanted to do with my life. What should I pick for a major in college, where should I go to college, what did I want as a 'career.' It was all a huge question mark. So one of the things my mom was advised to do was have me take the Myers-Briggs personality test. One fun Saturday, I headed out to a testing center, and it was thus determined I was an INTP:

"Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical."

From this, we determined that my current front-runner in career choices, engineering, was a good fit, and I should go for it. So I did. Except this pesky love of piano playing kept tugging at my heart, and I couldn't really settle myself with engineering unless I could find a way to fit music in there too, and then the double major idea was born, and then the auditions to go along with that, and then the eventual abandonment of the engineering altogether.

Weird how it all panned out. Now I think I may have moved toward somewhat of a hybrid with an ENTP:

"Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another."

...and 12 years later, I'm still no closer to knowing what I want to do with my life.

I thought about taking the test again for kicks, but why? So I know more about myself, and still nothing about where myself should be? What I actually needs is the guts to go try something that I could fail. Something I actually, really, truly want.

Taking a moment to say...

I'm really lucky. Blessed. Fortunate. Grateful.

I have a wonderful family in North Carolina who love me and I get to visit at least once every three months, AND an amazing house of what is now my London "family" - my flatmates. We just had our Christmas and cooked a fabulous meal and exchanged gifts, drank champagne, did the traditional English Christmas crackers and wore our little paper hats, it was just a lovely evening all around. Everyone chipped in with groceries, cooking, cleaning, prepping...really cool.

I have a piano that is "mine" back in NC that my mom keeps for me and uses to teach, so I get to help her in that way, and hold on to an instrument that was a big part of my life for a few years, AND I will have a piano that I rent here in London as of January 3. I decided to go for it, and especially after tonight's festivities, I think that the choice to get a piano for at least 6 months and commit to stay here is the right one.

There are so many other things like this, but I'm so exhausted I can't think of anything but how excited I am about sleeping. :)

The piano and me

I went out with a friend from work tonight, to an awesomely English pub (wooden beams, cozy Christmas decor, cottage-y feel to it) and had a great time venting about various life decisions, situations, politics, work, etc. It was fun! And best of all, we reached the realization that my current stress is all the piano's fault. See, I want to rent a piano. But if I do, it means I'm staying in this current living situation for a while, and I'm not sure that is good for my sanity. I hate my commute, and there is someone home more and more of the time, which doesn't do well for my need-my-space side. So let's say I go ahead and get one anyway. The piano will be in the foyer, next to the living room, where the TV is. So anytime someone else is home chilling, I won't want to or be able to play the piano, because it will either disturb the TV-watching, or just bug me that I have an audience. This in turn will only cause me to further resent my flatmates for just being there, something entirely irrational and not great for good relationships or an all-around warm-fuzzy house. The logical solution for this is to move out to my own place and live by myself. But then I have to find somewhere on a ground floor with enough space for a piano. Oh, and I have to be able to afford it. Chances of finding such place in London = .001% So then I decide to work really hard at finding a way to afford this place, and I'm right back to figuring out what I'm going to do in life next year and where Lulu fits into that story.

Sigh. Why can't I play the oboe?

The importance of sleep

Okay, so last Monday night I decided to stay up and watch Monday Night Football. It was fun, I got my dose of american culture, and went to bed before the Patriots pulled out a victory. I hate Tom Brady. Sorry, had to vent. But at least I got to go to sleep happy, because at 3:30am GMT the Ravens were winning. :)

However, this pretty much killed my week. I could not recover from the lost sleep! Getting old is really no fun. I had a "launch" to go to Tuesday night, which was a fun experience, much more low key than it could have been, so that helped my exhausted brain not to have to work too hard. (I had stayed up sunday night too, so monday was just the nail in my coffin).

I had a meeting on Wednesday, so I had to muster all intelligent-sounding speech for that hour, and then I was finished for the week. Managed to get what what essential completed, and the rest was just fighting to survive. Miserable!

Thursday I got to 'entertain' a friend in town from the US, and we did the Soho thing and then ate yummy Indian food - may have been the best I've had yet :) That was a fun night, but didn't help with the sleep deprivation. Friday night I went home after a stop by Blockbuster and shut myself in for the night - it was great - slept almost 12 hours.

For some crazy reason I decided to brave Hamleys (huge toy store, like FAO Schwartz) on Saturday and drag two co-workers with me...in the rain and cold. It was insane! There were so many people in the store they stopped letting people in for a while! Five floors with escalators packed with people, kids, toys, madness. Not sure I could or would ever do that again, but it was 'fun' for the experience of it. And I managed to get the last couple things on my list.

The rest of my weekend was just relaxing, though, slept 12 hours on Saturday night, and Monday morning I felt like I could face my week! Today was an added bonus, I worked from home, which meant I had time to go running, go to the store for lunch, and fix a decent dinner for myself :)

Career Goals

I've been thinking a lot lately about a question I was asked at work last week - what are your career goals?

Honest answer? I don't have any. I didn't even want a career until I found myself in one last year. But, I have been able to come up with some sort of answer to the question. I see it basically as two options:

1) Make a lot of money in a 'career' so that I have the means to make a difference, travel, and make music. In other words, I can live somewhere nice, buy a Steinway grand for my house, go wherever I want, and spend money and influence and time to support causes I'm passionate about.

2) Find a way to make a difference, travel and make music as a living, and the money doesn't matter so much. Like teaching music in an impoverished area, or working for an NGO, or pursuing music full time.

Both kinda freak me out - option one because I don't know what I'd be like with money and whether I could actually keep myself grounded and do what the point of the money was to start with. Option two because it's more intangible, and I can't believe I'd be so lucky to actually find a way to make it happen. :)

But you know what's amazing about this silly basic question that people get asked all the time? I finally have an answer to it, and I'm letting someone know about it. May not last longer than this week, but it's a new thing for me to have, and I like it.

So here is the problem - I'm not really on track to do either. And I'm 28. Twenty-eight! How did that happen so quickly? Sigh. Fortunately, I'm in London. There's nothing stopping me from doing whatever I want to do except fear and laziness, both of which I'm pretty well stocked in these days. But I now have the secret weapon of a written out 'goal' at my disposal, so maybe this will be interesting.

I think my first plan of action is to go all out at my current job for six months. Push myself and get some key objectives completed, see where that takes me. If it looks like I have a decent chance at either moving up there quickly or using it as a stepping stone, I'll go for option 1 for a while. If it looks like that isn't happening, or I find I'm really just not cut out for that life, then I spend some time researching how I'm going to go for option 2, and just do it.

That was a fun exercise. :)

To car or not to car?

I will tell about my weekend in a comparison story of two days, which will hopefully show the joy and the pain of living in a big city without a car.

Saturday:

I get up around 10:30am, go for a nice run around the neighborhood. Back home to fix my smoothie for the morning, shower, and then head back out to go look at rental pianos and buy some things at the market. I figure out I can take the number 6 bus straight there, and so I'm all excited, I thought, hey this should be quick and easy. Apparently, so did half the population of London's west end. So I'm crowded in more and more, and then traffic grinds to a halt, and my iPod runs out of battery so I'm forced to listen to the mindless dribble of everyone around me while crawling along about 2 feet per minute. Finally, I lose it and get off the bus to walk the rest of the way, and realize that the weather has gone from sunny to raining in 20 minutes, and I'm stuck with no umbrella, hat, or raincoat!! So I have to walk the rest of the way in the rain, finally reaching the store not nearly as excited as when I left. The pianos, at least, were worth the trip, and I went back home on a slightly less crowded bus. Problem B arises when I want to go to the grocery store, and then have to go to the little store on the way which has not nearly enough to count as a grocery store and walk back with a bottle of champers and all my stuff.

Then that night, it's time to go out to a champagne party (hence the earlier purchase) which is on the other side of town. So I get all dolled up and headed out to the bus. Except I got on, the driver pulls out, and only after I'd started fumbling through my purse did I realize that I had taken out my Oyster card (travel card) from its holder and thus could not pay for my journey!! So the driver makes me get off at the next stop, and I am stuck further away from the house, in the cold and wind, with no place to buy a new card in sight. Plus, I have now discovered I didn't write down exactly how to get to the party from the closest tube stop, and my phone started beeping that it would die any minute. So I have to turn around and walk all the way home! Seriously wishing I had a car the whole, freezing, freaking way. Chill out at home for a bit, then my flatmate is heading out to that side of town too, and so we leave together, this time with Oyster card. Party is really fun, actually, stay until after 4am...and then the travel adventure begins again as the tube is closed so the only way home is a combination of buses. First I have to wait 20 minutes out in the cold for one bus, ride that 20 minutes and then change and wait 15 minutes in the cold for the second and ride another 20 minutes. Finally home at almost 6am...again, car would have been really nice...

Sunday:
I wake up nice and late, pretty well rested considering. Rearrange my room, have breakfast, get dressed. Wind is blowing something terrible, but eventually calms down and my flatmate and I decide to go to the market. Bus takes us straight there, we wander around, walk to Notting Hill Gate stopping at all sorts of fun places along the way, get coffee, find this hilarious Star Wars novelty that will be in my brother's stocking (teehee if you read this Matt...you'll see soon enough). Then my other flatmate calls and he's out at a nice pub near our house with a friend, so we head back to meet them for Sunday roasts (okay sunday salmon for me, but I'm the oddball pseudo-vegetarian of the group). Nice place, drinks, coffee, and a short walk home with help for a few stops from the bus. So cool not to need or have a car for any of that - and so much of that wouldn't have happened as easily or as well with a car. This is life, though...can't have the best of both worlds unless you're filthy rich. :)

Sad that I took twice as many words to describe the pain of no car than the joy of no car. Much easier to elaborate when complaining than reveling, unfortunately.

"Home"

Okay, so there went NaBloPoMo...there really isn't internet in the mountains, and I was there Wednesday - Saturday. Those days were perfect though, and the drive up to the mountain house was beautiful! I arrived just after dinner, Mom and Alan and Matt were already there, so we had a nice, relaxing evening - played the Wii and pool and watched the second half of"The Family Man" with Nicolas Cage on TV.
Thursday brought my aunt and uncle and cousins, and the turkey, and the deep frier! So funny that we do that now - plop the turkey in a vat of boiling oil. Tastes good though, apparently. I, having my annual slice of turkey on the day, am not the best judge of good turkey, but everyone seems to like the flavor and moistness of a fried turkey. That's the good ole southern US for ya - nothing there is to eat that wouldn't taste better fried!

Friday we put up the Christmas tree. I think that's the earliest we've even done it, Matt had to go back to Winston to work, so that was our last chance for everyone to be there until I come back for Christmas. He left, and Mom and Alan and I spent a while analyzing the best way to renovate the kitchen for when they move up to that house. It was fun to talk it out and I think we found a good plan - it's weird to think that in just a couple years they will be up there full time! I love that house more and more every time I go, it's like I've already started moving the place in my heart that is 'home' from the Cary house to there. I think I've been doing that for a while, actually.

We went to a cute restaurant for dinner in Hillsville, and I made the (questionable) choice of eating a steak. Hick town USA is not the place to go for your once-every-six-months steak, just in case you were wondering. So stupid, shouldn't have wasted it on that. Oh well. Tomorrow starts the diet. I don't know what happened, but it's like 10 pounds just sprouted out of nowhere. So aggravating! It wasn't T-day either, they arrived a couple weeks ago.

Saturday I drove through Winston to eat lunch with Matt and check out his new house, which was cool. Then I spent the last bit of my budget for clothes and Christmas gifts at Southpoint on the way home. Okay I spent more than the last bit. I am bah-ro-oke. But shouldn't have to purchase anything to wear for the rest of the season. May WANT to, but I can actually get dressed in the mornign in less than 30 minutes now, because I have things that are warm and fit - wonderful combination!

My trek to DC to fly home was such fun! A co-worker from London who was also in town took me to Smithfield to meet my friend Carmen and her husband, who were driving up from Columbis to Richmond. Then just outside Richmond, we met my aunt Kate, who was in town from Wyoming. She drove me back to her sisters/my other aunt's house, and my cousin came over and we had a good visit - and watched SNF :) I love football. Definitely on the short list of things I really miss!

Monday I went to Montpelier with my aunts - they are renovating it to restore to how it was when the Madison's owned it, so it's cool to see all the stuff they are finding and doing.

After lunch, we packed up, drove to Yoders - coolish country store you'll find - and then on to the airport to fly me home. I love saying that about London. "I'm going home on Tuesday"...so crazy I live here!

I'll have to stop - really freakin tired

Pampering

It's so much fun to take the time and let yourself be spoiled from time to time. I went to the mall after work to get a coat, and walking through Saks I saw a YSL counter, only time I've seen one in the US. They have this awesome foundation, Perfect Touch, that brushes on. Anyway, I could actually justify paying for it in dollars, so I plopped down and let the saleslady find the right colour and go on to make my skin look better than it has in months. It was such fun to relax and let someone use you as a palette :).

I did get a great coat, some sweaters, and a bagload of lotions in this 5 for $25 sale at Bath and Body Works. Now all I have left is to get luggage for overnight or weekend trips, and I can go home well stocked for the next few months. I'll have to pull out a couple of these every so often to help deal with how broke I'll be for the rest of the month!

I'm sorry, have we met?

So I had a fun start to the day - I arrived too early to get in the building without a keycard, so I walked over to our PR Director, who had just pulled in the parking lot, and said "Hi! Can you let me in?" She said hi, with a curious tone, not at all like she would have if she recognized me, and then I made another comment about the doors and not having a key, and then she said, I don't think I've met you...and I laughed and said it's me, Jennie! And she connected and laughed and it was a fun moment to retell at work. In general, it was great to be back in the office, to see everyone and 'sync' up again. I sound like I'm an iPod or something.

Tonight, I went to the very American Carolina Ale House with my Mom for a yummy salad, Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale, and a really good visit. My friend Hope came and joined us for dessert, then she and I went on to shop for a bit, and have coffee at Barnes and Noble. I had another "who are you" moment, but it was more the existential kind...Hope is a true gem of a friend, not just because she is, in fact, a great friend, but because she is the only person I have ever met that shares my evangelical Christian home-schooled background, yet can talk frankly about our questions and discuss wildly different ideas together. So as we were talking, I found myself thinking, who is this girl saying all these ideas that should be so radical, yet seem so comfortable? It's cool that this version of me can still be such close friends with this version with her. It was a good thing, though. Really good.

Church, football, shopping

I managed to fit most of the essential elements of life in Cary all in one day! Went to my Mom and Alan's new church this morning, which was a good thing I think - got me out of the house at a decent hour! I hadn't been to a traditional-style Methodist service in a while, so it was a weird trip back in time...the organist made a few mistakes here and there, which made me feel better. Strange how the performance anxiety from5 years ago can come back so quickly! I can still remember the first few Sundays at Windsor UMC in South Carolina, when I would sweat through the whole service, concentrating so hard on not messing anything up. I had this impression that I would ruin the whole religious experience if I played at the wrong time or hit a wrong note somewhere. Fortunately, I relaxed over time, and could actually enjoy it somewhat.

Anyway, then it was home for my favorite meal from growing up - tomato soup and grilled cheese :D. It was kind of a "last supper" as I'm going to go vegan tomorrow. Tired of this excess weight, feeling sluggish, having horrible skin...I will use Shaklee to supplement while I'm finding the best ways to get all the protein and vitamins I need to be healthy. Shaklee is one of the only vitamin companies I trust - they do extensive market research and CNN recently featured an article where they found that Shaklee's supplements were the only 'brand' shown to have a measurable impact on overall health when taken on a regular basis.

Then of course, it was football. Nothing quite like curling up on the couch to watch NFL on a Sunday. I even got to see the Steelers! Except they lost. In overtime. To the Jets. Who were 1-8. Sigh.

Went shopping with Mom, first to help her find some new trousers for her ever-slimming self, and for me to enjoy the wonder that is the pound-to-dollar exchange rate these days. :)

Very satisfying first day back. Now I have to get a good night's sleep and get to the office...will be fun to show off the new look!

24 hours

I've now been awake exactly 24 hours "today" - my alarm went off at 7am this morning in my room in London, and I just know curled into bed, booted up my computer and started writing at 7am (UK time), or 2am (EST). Crazy how the combination of a plane trip and some wine can create a time warp the body is just NOT preparted to handle! I just fell asleep for a couple seconsds while driving home at least three times. Scary!

Anyway, nothing intelligent I can say on the 1/8 brain power I have right now...I'm "home" thought - have internet, yummy bagels, and football!

Going "home"

So tomorrow I head off to the airport and go back to the US. This will be my second trip since moving, and I'm really excited about it. The last trip was out of desperation, almost, i was so frustrated with work I was dying to get back and re-set my life :) This time, everything is much better, I like work, I like my life, I'm just heading for an awesome week seeing family and friends and, of course, Thanksgiving!

It's been a weird week, went by really quickly with all the travel and events. I have to get up pretty early to get to the airport so nothing much to say tonight. Except that delivery in a big city is 10x better than I'm used to. Thai, Sushi, Indian, Pizza...all just a phone call away!

The English Gentleman

I missed a day!! :( I didn't bring a computer with me on a business trip to the seaside and realized when I arrived that I was going to miss a day of posting. Sigh.

The trip was great, I was amazingly comfortable spending a good part of 24 hours in the company of middle-aged men who all know a heck of a lot more than I do about printing and publishing, and have a completely different life than I do. It's quite a feeling to be the youngest and the only female in a business meeting at the same time. At dinner on Thursday when I was surrounded by five businessmen, I remember thinking, Okay I could get intimidated, or I could really enjoy this! And I enjoyed it, for the most part.

Two of the men were what I would consider the quintessential English gentleman. I think I found the conversations at dinner and the meetings so stimulating partly because of how much I just loved listening to them talk! Something about the accent, the proper way of speaking, drinking brandy after a nice meal - it all made me feel like I was being transported back about 100 years. Plus it was an older beach town where we stayed in the "Grand Hotel" and I had lounge chairs and tapestry curtains in my room, which certainly added to the effect!

One outcome of the trip is that I am definitely motivated to get my act together to keep holding my own in these settings. I don't necessarily feel I have more to prove because I'm young and a woman, but certainly don't want the fact that I am young and a woman to be the only things that come across, and having nothing to add to the conversation is a sure-fire way to allow someone's mind to rest on those facts. At the Book Awards, there was an older man who made a few comments that I should be promoted and told my boss why isn't she running things, can't you see "talent"...and I have never spoken to him before, leaving me to assume the 'talent' he is referring to is my ability to look fashionable at an event. Now, he could know my boss or have talked to a colleague across the table who knew me, but I am always scared of the assumption that I achieved something on looks or charm, maybe too much so. Regardless, it motivates me to work hard, so I'm not too worried with getting over that fear. In another few years, when I have even less chance of that assumption being made, I'll have to find something else to motivate me ;)

Overdressed, underdressed?

Which do you prefer - showing up on the upper end of the average attire or the bottom end? Attract sympathy for being the shabby one, or envy/contempt for looking too good? I had my outfit all planned for the British Book Design and Production Awards tonight, and found out just as I was leaving to go home and change that it might be less dressy than I thought. And I had the option when I got back to dress down and go more middle of the road, but decided, what the heck, I have a completely coordinated look all ready to go, I'll feel sexy and confident in it, why stress with coming up with a new plan? So on went the dress, the tights, the Prada heels, the pearls, the makeup, the totally straight hair, the handbag, the wrap, and the coat, and off I went. :) And I was right where I like being, not the one in the evening dress, but the top-tier of classy, good-looking women. I like being the under-dressed one only when I haven't put any effort into my appearance...not when I've tried but in the wrong category and thus failed.

Anyway, I had a great time, it was more entertaining than you might think a bunch of bookworms would be ;)

Panic shopping

I really really hate shopping on a deadline. Especially in the crowded streets of Oxford Circus in November! Christmas is already in London - they turned on the lights this week, and Monday night at 7pm is shopping time. I almost bought an overpriced "vintage" handbag in the mind-numbing frenzy just because I needed SOMETHING to go with my outfit tomorrow...fortunately I am saved yet again by my amazing flatmate for jewelry and handbag.

I'm soo tired...plan was to be asleep super early, but I lost an hour somewhere and now it's 11:30, early than usual but not enough to make a difference in how I feel tomorrow.

The hair was fun today, love getting that immediate reaction from people!

Prada. Mine.

I love London. I love that I can get up on a Sunday, take the bus a few minutes, and be in this amazing second-hand shop that has a whole wall of shoes in glass cabinets, with Dior, Marc Jacobs, fill-in-the-blank kick-ass designer shoes for a fraction of the price. So I am now the proud owner of these fabulous Prada shoes.


They match my hair :D Craziness. I'm borrowing a friend's dress, just need to find a handbag that doesn't destroy the outfit, and learn how to put on makeup. I'm going to have fun with my bold hair, being a bit more bold with my face and clothes. Maybe I'll be be more bold all around. It's amazing how different hair change my personality. I love it. :) I haven't done this drastic a change in a while, and I can't wait to walk into work tomorrow!

Hair!

So I have cool hair - totally unplanned, I was thinking I would just go boring and cover up all the grown-out dying blonde with a dark shade, and then when my flatmate started pulling out all the different options, we got creative! I think I'll have fun being not normal again. :) I've been pretty straight-laced in the hair department since I had purple streaks two years ago - that ended up a rough experience when I went to teach in Malaysia, so I think I'm just now brave enough to try it again. Although this time it's not purple, just really dark with some blue-black bits and blonde highlights. Hard to describe, I'll take a photo when it's not 1:30 am and I'm not falling asleep while trying to type...

I might get to play golf again tomorrow! Although it will probably rain, which is probably just as well because I need to go shoe-shopping for the British Book Awards on Tuesday. :)

Went to see the piano, and....I loved it! Hopefully it all works out from here and I'll have one here either before I head to NC on Saturday, or at least soon after I get back.

Yay weekend

I finally feel normal-ish. Whether it's the fact that it's Friday, or my stomach is just settling down because it has to, it was nice to actually feel like going out for a drink after work, then picking out a movie to rent and head home to curl up on the couch with some sushi. :) Found a place just down the road last week that delivers here. Sushi - delivered! How cool is that?

I'm now watching Sex and the City DVD's, thinking of my house and how different life was in NC. It's comforting in a way that the only things I really miss had to change whether I moved to London or not. Like having my brother as a housemate and watching TV series on DVD.

I don't have much to say today, except that I hope this piano I go see tomorrow is worth the wait and trouble!

No help from the roses

You are a Lavender Rose

You represent love at first sight and enchantment. Your vibe: intense and intriguing Falling in love with you is: deep and meaningful

What Color Rose Are You?

I think it's fun how in subtle ways google, blogs, magazines, emails, etc, exposes everyone's need to know who they are, how they are - we all (hopefully) are aware a 5 question quiz can't really offer any insight into our destiny, but there's still that bit of hope that I find creeping up in me when I finish one - is it going to get me? Is this rose thing going to give me a new way to explain myself? I'm especially vulnerable at the moment, as the interesting and somewhat unfortunate side affect of NaBloPoMo has been the end of avoiding introspective questions. The busier, more exciting life is, the less time you have to think about what the point of your busy, exciting life is!

Anyway, so I am, according to blogthings, a Lavender Rose, with an intense and intriguing vibe. Hmmm. Not too bad, actually. The love at first sight part is crap, as that's never come close to happening and probably never will - not to be pessimistic, I just know I don't really work that way as a norm. But if nothing else, the fact that I care about what a quiz determines about me is a pretty good reinforcement of the conclusion that I need to start sorting myself out before I implode. I have finally faced up to the fact that there is no viral or bacterial problem with my stomach, I'm just stressed out.

Piano

I finally got news today that I can see the piano I've been waiting to see for weeks! This is such good news, because every time I go to play the 'thing' that masquerades as a keyboard in my room I am so frustrated and disappointed I get put off after 15minutes. I know, music brings out my diva side :) Anyway, if I don't like it when I actually get to play and see this instrument, I will have to laugh at myself. But I've got the name of the place where I'll rent from if this falls through, so either way, by the time I go home for Thanksgiving, I will have music!

I got really down and out about life and work on the way home today - came home at lunch ill again - and starting thinking that maybe I should find a place where I can at least work as a part time accompanist or volunteer or something. Did I little searching, found nothing. It would be manic to work at Lulu and have a part-time gig, even if it was just for fun and no pay, so I guess it's good there was no shining opportunity to strike me in a moment of weakness.

work-a-holic-ness

I know I keep making up words, but this one I totally think should be one. How is it so ingrained in my being to work all the time that I take a sick day, yet spend it online with my work emails, still call in my conference call meeting for an hour, and spend the rest of the time thinking about work? I never wanted this part of my life. The whole office-computer-politics-career-9to5 (or 7 or 8) part. Usually, I can ignore it, just enjoy everything that starts after I leave the office, but whenever I stop and think "why do I do what I'm doing?" I can never really come up with a good answer. It's challenging, it's something different, it's a great company, it's the reason I live in a cool city like London...but none of these are substantial enough to merit looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an aging, fattening, stressing version of myself.

Do I have the guts to change though? Or more practically, the means to make a change? Or more truly, do I have a compelling enough end to justify the means it would take to make a change?

Sick-ish

I must have bragged too much about not being sick in a while, because I am feeling like I have a fever. :( The worst part is that I can finally watch an NFL game tonight - the Steelers are playing the Ravens for Monday Night Football. But that means it starts at 1:30am. And I really should go to bed and get my rest. Arrgh! Football evades me again - if there were football gods I would say they were laughing at me. Everytime there has supposed to be a game on TV, something has bumped it off the schedule. Last night I paid to download Game Pass from Yahoo so I could see the Indy/New England game...and AFTER I paid, it said the game was restricted from the UK. That's it, the only country excluded outside the US other than Spain, the country where I live.

Sorry this turned into a whinge session! Hazards of blogging ill...I really did plan to try and write intelligent, insightful things every so often, so maybe if I end up staying home sick from work tomorrow I'll have time to do that. If not, I may take the noble gesture and quit NaBloPoMo to spare everyone this pointlessness dribble. :)

Church

So this afternoon I went to St. Pauls Cathedral for Evensong with a friend. It was so cool. The cathedral itself is stunning, and then sitting there with the organ and choir - complete with boys choir and perfect voices creating ethereal sounds floating through the air - it just made for a relaxing trip to serenity in the midst of busy London life. Even the sermon was that much more meditative as the speaker's voice echoed through the stone to resonate with your soul, whether or not your brain was registering the logic and point of the words she spoke.

As I sat there, I realized this was the first time I'd been to church since I had moved. And as I found myself referring back to my upbringing and religious beliefs in what I think was the fourth or fifth serious discussing about faith and religion in the last few weeks, I was struck by several comments in this one. My friend Ro remarked, after I said I was raised super-religious, that I didn't come across that way. Which is awesomely refreshing. I have always been the good girl, the Christian one, the church-goer, etc. To just be ME, whatever and whoever that is, without the pre-packaged expectations and perceptions, is really freeing. And I think that's my favorite part about life here. I am free to be who I want to be, and who I really am, without the history and baggage of my life in the US. Obviously, I can't just keep escaping and re-inventing myself, but I know that has been a big factor in how much I love living here, and I think that every so often, it's a good thing to do.

Day Trip

So I've been wishing I could get to the mountain house - just needing a quick escape from the city. This week was kinda rough at work, and I've been more stressed lately. So last night before heading out for the evening, my friend Carolyn and I were drinking wine (we started this last friday, went and got a couple bottles of wine, instead of beer, from the shop across the street) and de-stressing. I mentioned I wanted to take a day trip somewhere to just get out of the city, and she jumped on board with the idea and we looked at a couple websites, then just picked a town off the map - Southend by the sea - and made a plan! We met at the train station at 11pm and headed off on an hour journey. It was a gorgeous day, walked along the beach - although this is a very different concept than NC beaches. More like walking on a promenade (road) next to a string of arcades, fish and chips stands, and kiddie roads. Anyway, we did that, ate fish and chips, went to an art gallery, played mini-golf, and then started walking down to where the "Big Beach Bang" was to be. That turned out to be 5.5 miles! But we had on comfy shoes and stopped for tea halfway, and fortunately had lots to talk about. Turned out to be a bit of a bust, so we took the train back, found a pub for a couple drinks and waited for the fireworks to start. Then headed back to the train station, grabbed Subway on the way, and rode home content. Tired, but happy. :) All in all it was a great way to spend a day out of London!


I really love how easy it is to go anywhere I want to go. 11.50 GBP and I'm on the beach, with different scenery, salty air, and a fun excursion begins. It really helps me not miss having a car - I can do the equivalent of what I would with a car, and have the added benefit of reading, playing cards, or talking without having to worry about focusing on the road. Only option I don't have is driving to the mountains or to see my family. The mountains...I will have to find a solution. Maybe I'll meet someone with a home, or try Wales...just need some place I know I can escape to!

Belonging

Okay technically I missed a day. But only in the calendar sense. This is still Friday for me, so I'm considering this my blog for the day. :)

I had a great night out last night, and as I walked home in the brisk London air, with my trench coat and scarf and boots and skinny jeans, I had this calm sense of "I belong here." Not like some sky-parting amazing revelation, not even an overwhelming happiness or excitement - just a raw, honest feeling that I fit in this city. It's been a really long time since I could say with any confidence that I belonged where I was. I've wanted to be where I was, liked where I was, all that, but I think the last time I had this solid a connection with my life was in Australia when I studied abroad. But even that was less real, as I knew the whole time it was only for one semester. When you know something has an end date, it's automatically a different dynamic - like getting involved with someone when you know you or they are moving at a set date. You are more open to certain things, while guarding others a little closer. At least that's how I am. But the point of all this is to say that my living in London is an open-ended situation AND I feel like it's exactly where I should be. Which is kinda scary. I'm such a commitment-phobe that the thought of staying somewhere a year is suffocating. But if I'm this content in another 6 months, why should I leave? Obviously, there's a very good chance that in 6 months I don't feel I belong anymore, but I always would not be surprised if this lasted.

All I can say is that it will be fun to see how it unravels...

NaBloWriMo

Okay, so I am using this as a way to motivate myself to write again. I've been watching TV and mindlessly surfing the internet much more than I would like, so the goal is to replace those two activities by writing in my blog and journal, and playing the piano. To help with goal A, I joined National Blog Writing Month, so I will have to remember to post once a day for the whole month of November! To help with goal B, I'm either buying or renting a piano. The piano I want to buy off gumtree (like craig's list) I can't seem to find a way to 'test drive'. So, if I still haven't made it out to see it this weekend, I will go to John Samuels to rent one.

I'm at work, so this initial post for the month will be brief and boring, but at least I can only improve from here for the next 30 days!

Weekend sampling

I had just the weekend I needed, it was relaxing, fun, crazy, and homey all in one! Friday after work, I went out to a cool pub in Hammersmith with a couple co-workers. We were just stopping in for one drink before two of us headed down to SoHo, but that turned into three, and then a hunt for food as none of us had eaten, which resulted in a some bread and wine back at my friend's house watching old movies. It was fun, first time crashing on a couch not because I didn't want to drive home, but because I didn't want to take a night bus home :)

Saturday was prep for the big night out! Sal has a friend who works at this member's club near here that has these Rock-a-burlesque nights, so we were going to this weekend's "Scary Monster Night." After wandering around the market for awhile, Alessandra and I stumbled across these awesome red and black catsuit type things. Weren't sure where we going with them yet, but for 5quid each, we had to take them. :) So these evolved into a mad-dr.death with a gun and some sort of Michael Jackson Thriller video zombie - it was awesome. Especially with the amazing talents of Alessandra styling and doing the makeup!

The party itself was a bit of letdown with the music, but there was a cool performance and we still had fun - ended up at a friend's flat for some after-party music and photo shopping ourselves on the Mac. :)

Sunday was a chillout recover day. it was beautiful outside again - cold, but sunny - so I went for a walk around the new neighborhood - liked it! Then we had a Sunday roast for dinner - so cute! Everyone was home, we sat around the huge coffee table and passed the potatoes and wine. It was fun!

Short-lived rejuvenation

So maybe I should seriously reconsider how long I want to stay in London, because the city can sure beat you down fast :( My skin has already returned to the horrible condition it was before the weekend (another benefit of clean mountain air) and everything at work is craziness. But I can't complain about my life, it's no one's fault but my own that I worked so much the past three days! And there was a really cool sunset tonight, so that made a long night at the office a little easier to take :)
My goal now is to find other ways besides flying to the mountains to 'restore myself'. I need to play the keyboard more, so as soon as I get up from writing I'm going to do that. I've decided to buy (or rent) a piano, too, so I've been looking on gumtree (like craigslist) and researching online about the best thing to do. The front hallway in the house was just made for a piano, in my opinion! Another thing that does wonders for my soul is exercise, so I am determined to get to the gym more and run outside. There's this really cool fitness center near my house now, so I'm going to have to chck it out this weekend. And, I know I'm weird, but studying helps my mental state soo much, so I'm carrying my Spanish books with me to take advantage of the longer commute. :)

And now I think I could go to sleep - it's barely 9:00 and I'm ready to call it a night, how sad! My flatmate Sal is out with friends that are visiting, so I was going to go meet up with them, but it's not promising at this point...

Looking Good, Feeling Good

So I get to work yesterday - straight from the airport after a fantastic weekend in Geneva, and my co-worker says to me, "You look good!!" she later repeated and said, and I mean, like things are good, you know, not just the outside. And I thought, I do feel good! The mountains have always had this crazy effect on me. I get a long-lasting, natural high off being outside, around nature, and way up above sea-level. This is why I would drive 3 hours at the drop of a hat to go to the mountain house, just to be there for a few hours, a day, one night, whatever - something in my soul feeds off the mountain air


The picture is from Chamonix - Geneva is almost completely surrounded by France, so I spent two of the three days mostly in France - Europe is so crazy, you just weave in and out of countries and smile at the border guards! :) We took a lift up to 3600m (12,000 ft) - that, my friends, is breathtaking. I loved it. It was almost like cheating - where else in the world can you be that high and not have to work really really hard to get there? We came back down to about 2000m I think and hiked around, which was really cool, and then decided to hike all the way down, which was a little more than I bargained for, but still enjoyed going through the trees. I definitely paid for it the next couple days...getting old!!

Okay now blogger is not letting me post more photos. Annoyed. so you'll just have to go on flickr to see the rest!

To try and describe the weekend, I will cheat and let my friend's wife Marcy describe Saturday and the fondue Monday night, 1) because she's a great writer, and 2) because I'm way behind in blogging and too lazy to write all that plus what I want to say about the rest of life.

All i want to add is that I had so much fun exploring Geneva on my own Monday, it's such a cute, pretty, small city it is very manageable, even only speaking 5 words in french! next time, I will do a bit more homework though - I hate not understanding anything or being able to say basic stuff!

The major event before Geneva was of course, MOVING! I absolutely love the new flat - it's huge, beautiful, quiet, sigh...so lucky to have gotten in here. And of course, the awesome flatmates came with :)

Before that, I was in Spain for the book fair in Barcelona - the first time I've ever understood why people don't like business travel. I'm in this cool city for two days, and I spend them inside a conference center. :( At least I got to go out one night for tapas and see my friend there, but I will definitely be going back on my own time.

Okay, so I think I've hit the highlights for now. I'm in such a good mood! Hope it lasts through the week :)

Hecticity

I don't know if that's a word, but if it is, it totally describes the last two weeks. I get back in town from the US, go straight to work, and just barely finish packing before the friend visits begin. It was soo much fun to have people to entertain for 10 days! My friend Zach, who I know from Tasmania study abroad and now lives in Geneva, was in town for business so I got to hang out with him a couple days. Then he flies out on Saturday just as my friend Hope flies in from the US! We managed to fit in an incredible amount of fun in 9 days. We went to Portobello market and a leaving party Saturday, Windsor castle on Sunday - this time it was a gorgeous day and we actually did the tour and saw all the cool stuff inside, ate fish and chips by the river, and found this cute used book store with these amazingly old and well kept classics. Monday I had to work, so she went off on her own to explore the British Museum, london Tower and Bridge, etc. We met back up at my house after work, and then headed out to see Chicago! It was really good, and as a bonus star sighting, Kelly Osbourne is playing Mama Morton now, so that was funny to see her on the stage so close.

Tuesday Hope toured on her own again, then I met her at my flatmates pub for a few drinks, and some of my other friends from work, etc showed up, so it was a fun evening. Then it was home to pack and get ready for Scotland!!! We left early wednesday morning and flew into Glasgow, then took the train to Glasgow Central, where I had just discovered (Facebook is amazing) that one of my good friends from Tasmania was now living! So we met up with her for coffee before taking the train on to Stirling, where I burned more calories than I ate this whole month. Seriously, the whole town is uphill. Both ways. :) It was a gorgeous day though, and we had a great time! Walked the whole way to everything, which was great, but exhausting, we had at lease 6 miles under our belt when all was said and done. From there we got on a train to Edinburgh, and the only real stress of the whole time she was here started, as we discovered we only had a name and number for the Bed and Breakfast, and the phone number wasn't working. We killed time eating dinner, then started asking around for phone books to find the address, then desperately calling friends with internet until I ran out of phone time, then finally going to other hotels until we got the address and took a taxi. Luckiest moment of the trip - another couple walked in with the keys right as we arrived, so we could sit in the lobby until we got through to the owner and could get in the room. After that close call with sleeping on strange carpet, everything else went off splendidly! We had a tour through the highlands of Scotland on Thursday, which was great - went all the way up to Loch Ness (no Nessie sightings though) and through lots of cute towns and castles and rolling hills.

Friday was Edinburgh day, which I loved! So pretty, so old, so cool. We had a pretty chill day, walked up to the castle and then all the way down the Royal Mile, stopping at shops, having coffee and fudge and yummy scones, enjoying the nice weather. Headed back to Glasgow to meet my friend again and see the square before taking the train to the airport. Plane was delayed, so I missed my friends going away party that night, but we were so tired it was probably better that way anyway.

Saturday we went for a lovely day trip - Borough Market near London Bridge, which is a really cool place, flowers, cheese, veggies, fruit, chocolate, bread...we go some of everything and then headed to Greenwich to sit in the park and eat our delicious purchases. It was another beautiful day, and we got to see the Meridian along with great panoramic views of London.
Saturday night was a recovery time, we cooked dinner and watched movies. Sunday we went to Covent Garden, which is always fun, wandered around the markets. Then it was home so Hope could start packing up. :( She left early Monday morning, and I went back in for a freaking longgg day at work, catching up from the time off.

This week's been pretty crazy too, especially since WE'RE MOVING! More on that later, but Im so excited :) Place has a garden, a yard, a jacuzzi bath, and my room is massive with wall to wall closets! Maybe we'll even get a piano....hmm...

the 12 days of going home

Wow, I didn't write at ALL while I was in the US...so now, where do I even start? I got back from Holland on Thursday, knowing I was heading to NC on Sunday. I had only purchased the ticket on Wednesday, so I touched down in London for what I knew would be a wild few days before flying West! Thursday night I relaxed and unpacked, and Friday was Daniel's last day at work so everyone in the office (slim pickings due to travel plans of 4 people - half the office) went out for a drink afterwards, then we met up with another friend, and relatively calmly celebrated his last day as a Lulu. Saturday was the big event for my flatmate and her not-boyfriend. I think there needs to be a new term, something to use when one or more of the two people involved has a problem with the girlfriend/boyfriend title. Because otherwise you're stuck with this long explanation every time you reference them, like "Jane and the guy she hangs out with a lot but isn't dating because he's still scared to commit after his marriage fell apart last year and she's not sure he's really her type after what happened with that other weird New Yorker guy" Whoooaaa...dude, we just need to know they are an item, not the gory details. So if anyone can create a new term and get it adopted into pop culture, I'll happily jump on the bandwagon. Or maybe it's already out there and I am just slow on the uptake!

anyway, the point of all that was to say it was party time. Which meant baking 3D teddy bear cakes all day and running out to get last minute gifts and supplies, right up until the last minute when we iced the cakes in shifts while getting dressed and made up to go out. Quite funny, really. I have pics of the cake and the party, just not my cord to upload from my camera. I seem to be especially skilled at losing that...

So the party was heaps of fun, I danced and danced and met a bunch of people, but couldn't make the 'after-party' at Pascal's house because I had the minor life detail of a flight to Raleigh leaving the next day at 12:45. Darn planning, should have flown on Monday. But it was probably best, it got messy over there apparently. I eneded up jumping in a taxi headed back towards my side of town with some people I knew and stopping off at a club to continue dancing until it shut, and then had just a quick cab ride to the house, and time to pack and fall asleep for a few hours before loading up my bag and hopping on a bus to catch the train to catch my plane. Public transport is so crazy - and the fact that I am so used to it now is awesome.

So I arrived Sunday at 4:20, breezed through the one-room customs drill at RDU, and walked outside to be smothered in humidity. Wow I'd forgotten how miserably hot it can get in North Carolina! It was great to see my Mom and Alan and settle back into my childhood room for a week, go to the farmer's market, shop with my friend and exploit the dollar-to-pound ratio as much as possible...then Tuesday I got to walk into work and see my department and my boss and it was just exactly what I needed. I feel great personally, socially, career-wise, everything that felt out of sync is back on track, or close to it. :) I went out for dinner with a couple girls Tuesday, to my favorite restaurant Underground on Wednesday, to Chapel Hill to meet my flatmates sister - that was a randomly cool coincidence, they are from Canada, my flatmate ends up in London, and rooming with me, and her sister in Chapel Hill. Small World. Then we all met up with some work people and sat on the terrace with some wine...anyway, I won't bore with details, but I had a great week. Even got to go to the mountains for a day on Saturday and chill out in nature and at the house...it was great :)

So now, I'm back, although I brought a little cold with me :( Will upload some pics to Flickr soon, provided I find my camera cord soon....

Biker babe

Okay, so I wrote the last entry on Tuesday, but posted it Wednesday, so I have to go back to catch up on Tuesday's events. I got to Rotterdam and met my friend there at the station, had a glass of juice to wake up a bit, then we went off to see the town. She used to run her own company of 'city hosts' to take people around the city, so it was fun to have her as my personal encyclopedia of knowledge about Rotterdam and get to hit the highlights of the town really quickly :) I got to see where most of the city was wiped out in WWII and the few remaining buildings, take a water taxi through the harbor, and walk through the shopping area. We only had a couple hours, because the plan was to rent a car and drive back to her house in Oostvorne, and the rental place closed at 6pm. So we picked up the car, which was quickly named Yoko, and I silently prayed I would remember how to drive a manual transmission without much trouble!! And I did - huge relief! It was fun to drive again, and helpful to have Eveline to navigate me through the city. We got to her house, changed into comfy clothes, and headed out on bike - very Dutch - everyone rides bikes everywhere here, it's so cool - to the beach! Beautiful day, we walked for a bit, then realized we had to get food at the store before it closed at 8pm, and it was 7:45 and we were 2 miles away! So we ran back to our bikes, and hoofed it to the store- my poor legs didn't know what hit them, I hadn't ridden a bike in ages, and here I am going as fast as I can! It was fun though, and we made it just before they shut the doors to get some wine, cheese, hummus and bread, and ride back home. :) Decided then to go back to the beach with the wine and watch the sunset, which was soo nice. We had a lovely time chatting and relaxing, and trying to take photos jumping off the sand dunes, resulting in really bad pictures and much hilarity. When the sun had set, Eveline said, well we should head back, you've got the bike with a light. And I stood up, the blood rushed to my head and I said, um, this could be interesting, I've had a bit too much wine on an empty stomach!! We managed to get back in one piece - fortunately it's a small town and there was no traffic. It was quite funny to get off my bike and not be able to walk so straight - that was a new experience!

Wednesday morning I got up and drove to Culemborg for my meeting, which fortunately wasn't too hard to find - no thanks to google maps, who haven't quite figured out how to give directions within Holland. Getting back was much more of a fiasco, but I made it! Worked a little more from Eve's house, then we loaded up Yoko and headed to Amsterdam. Eve is going to San Francisco for 3 weeks, so she had all her bags ready to fly out and I was all set to fly back to the UK, so it was a perfect how our timing worked out. We got to Amsterdam, returned the car, checked in our hotel, and went over to the city center to meet another one of her friends for dinner and a drink. I was completely shattered at this point, haven't slept very much in the last week, so I was ready to go back to the hotel at 10. I'll have to come back sometime to do more of a wild Amdam night maybe.

I missed my flight this morning because I forgot to allow enough time to walk from the hotel to the train station...I sure hope I'm getting all of these stupid mistakes out of the way in one trip, I can't handle going through the mania of this one again. I had to pay a fee and rebook for the Amdam-Stansted flight leaving 30 minutes later, so I'm now on the train back to london from Stansted, which is further out than Gatwick. Sigh. At least I'm almost there, and will be at work soon.

whew!

Can I just say that living in London is so amazing it's exhausting? I'm on a train in the Netherlands now, which is this sweet double-decker train. So of course I'm on the top level so I can see the countryside :D Going from Amsterdam to Rotterdam, where I meet a friend. Tomorrow I have the business part of my trip, but today I get to play a little.

This weekend was crazy, Notting Hill Carnival was on Sunday and Monday - supposedly the biggest street carnival in Europe and I can definitely see why. I have never seen so many people in one place in my life. And I am not exaggerating. Hordes of people milling about through the miles of streets that were closed. One of which, was the street I live on, Ladbroke Grove. So that meant and 7:30 on Sunday morning, the part was warming up outside my window!!! Craziness. I actually ditched the Carnival for Sunday, since by 1:00 I'd heard plenty of carribean flair music for one day, and went to a music festival, Metro Weekender, with Alessandra (flatmate). Yeah, London is so big and so jam-packed of stuff to do that the bank holiday weekend had at least 3 major events going on. Not good for the chronically indecisive! The festival was great, we had VIP tickets through a friend so we had somewhere to eat, drink, sit down, good view of the mainstage, and Alessandra got to meet UFFIE, a female singer/rapper she loves, since we were in the 'artist's lounge'. It was more of an indie rock event, but there were also a couple of tents with DJ's, which was awesome, especially because Two Many DJ's was there, who are just amazing. This only continued to feed my fascination with the house music scene. I'm still definitely more into live music, but there's something about the artistry of a good DJ mixing and creating the dance atmosphere that's growing on me. We got into the after-party, but it was before the main band got there, The Streets, and some random dude with a guitar was playing, so we didn't last long enough for the fun to happen there. Plus, I had spent all day in the sun and the couple ciders I drank weren't sitting so well! So, I added one more check on the list of 'places really hard to get into that i've been looking next to my worst' ;) It was some swanky club in Soho where you sit down a table with champagne flutes and glasses, and the waitresses look better than half the people in there.


So Monday, I wake up to more carnival music, and this time, go out amongst the millions and dance and gawk at the costumes. It was really fun! I was exhausted and had to be up early for my flight today so I only lasted until about 6, then spent about an hour walking what is usually a 10 minute walk. When people become a wall, it's a bit scary!

And now I'm here, in the Netherlands, after a stressful morning - I forgot my passport. !!! First time ever. All I can think is that somehow my subconscious thinks it's like a within-the-US trip, it is only an hour flight, and so cheap and easy to get to...however, still an international flight, and I still have to have my passport. sigh. So I missed the flight, went back and got my passport, and then came to the airport and just barely made the new flight. Sheesh. I hope that was both the first and last time I do something as stupid as leave behind the only thing that's absolutely required.

Obligation

So I haven't written in a while - just when I thought I was settling into a routine of capturing the events of my London life, I slip back up! It's weird, this feeling that I have to record my existence by writing about it - I have felt this 'obligation' to write since I was in high school. I started a journal then and have never really stopped - it's just far less regular and now takes an online form. Interesting.

But back to the objective - write about life. :) Problem is, now I can't even remember two weeks ago...guess that means nothing all too eventful happened! The weather was really nice one more weekend, and then just fell apart.

ACH! I just lost everything I wrote! I thought it was auto-saving, but no, I'm left to re-write everything I just said. I hate that, it never comes out as interesting the second time around. sigh.

soo....I will just hit the highlights, I was talking about the two nights out I had this week - once last night with a co-worker whom I love, but we had never actually hung out until yesterday, and the other on Wednesday night, with a friend in town from spain. The topic both evenings ended up at one point or another talking about thriving off meeting new people, experiencing life, and enjoying different cultures, etc. My friend last night was saying how she just clicks with people like that - you can tell right away, there's something about 'us' ;) Culture addicts.

I'm curious about the phenomenon that was the rest of my Wednesday evening with Justine - the noticeably frequent attention we got all night from men! Staring, chatting up, giving business cards to the restaurant - it was crazy! I'm sure a lot of this came because Justine is quite attractive, but she said just as I did, that this never happens to her on her own. Is there something about the combination of two reasonably pretty girls? What is it about having two instead of one? We came up with the fact that we were laughing and talking and looked happy and approachable, but not much else. And more interestingly, what is is about a girl on her own, or with 3 other people, that makes such a difference that you never get more than a slightly prolonged glance?

On a tourist side, I got to see Dover castle and teh WWII tunnels on Monday, since I took the day off, with my friend Daniel. It was funny looking at all the war stuff and thinking how 60 years ago, I wouldn't have known him, let alone been good friends! (he's German). 60 years really isn't that long, especially in comparison with the rest of the castle, which was around in like 1100 something! Sunday was Windsor castle - I'm checking things off pretty well here lately! I'll be a first-rate tour guide when people start rolling in for visits :)

Okay I'm not going to write anymore and risk another erasure. Will try to be better about writing more frequently too, so there's less to forget and less to lose!!

Google thinks I'm German

I think Google sometimes outsmarts itself. A large part of my job is working with our German ISBN offering and thus 'reading' German emails, getting translations from German co-workers, downloading German books, etc. So now when I search for something on Google, I get 50% German pages in return, with German text describing the results! It's pretty funny. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me I should learn German instead of Spanish...hmm...interesting, especially when you add the fact that I hang out a lot with a friend who is German, and one of my flatmates grew up in Germany. Maybe Google satellites are linked to searches too, and my blog, so that it's all this huge connected big brother conspiracy... :D

I had another incredible weekend - it's all a bit much, I keep wondering what I did to just make everything suddenly click into place and be awesome! I went out after work on friday with co-workers to a local pub, then found out it was the birthday of a guy I had met a couple weeks ago, so I went along to that and had a blast. Met some really cool people, including a guy who I started talking to about golf for some reason. He goes, "I don't know how spontaneous you are, but I'm going with a friend of mine to play tomorrow and you're welcome to come"! So of course I jump at the chance, get up Saturday morning and unpack my golf clubs from storage - creating a flurry of bubble wrap, newspaper and golf balls, burying my room in a mess it has just barely recovered from. Then I brave the Notting Hill weekend crowd of tourists, trying to injure as few as possible with my flailing irons, make it onto the tube, and ride 45 minutes across London to get to Essex, where my new friend picks me up and off I go for a beautiful day in the sun, playing well and then awful, with nice views of the English countryside. It was lovely. :)

Headed home around 6, quite tired and happy - fortunately the crowds had subsided so I had less trouble maneuvering my way through the tube stations and buses. When I walked in the door, my flatmate was just about to go meet some friends for dinner, so I quickly changed and had some nice Italian food outside on Portobello road, ending with tiramisu and espresso, then stopped by where one of the guys was DJ-ing and had a drink and a dance...finally back just before ten to shower and collapse. It's amazing how much I crammed into 24 hours!

Sunday was another gorgeous day, so I went to Greenwich with a friend and chilled out in the park, saw the meridian, the Queen's House, the Thames, went to the market, got some ice cream, threw the frisbee, bought Harry Potter finally and read the first chapter out loud - that was fun, brought back all these memories of reading aloud in the car with my family on road trips. :) Finished the day at nice pub on the patio for a cider and fish and chips, then headed back home, again, just before 10 - this time to clean up the disaster zone that was my room.

And now I'm back at work...using my lunch break to daydream about being outside. It really stinks that I have to put in the 40hours staring at a computer screen to be able to enjoy the fascinating life that is London...ah well, it's worth it I guess.

I'm in love

Okay, maybe it's just infatuation, but I love London! There is always something to do, someone to meet, somewhere to go, and more than one way to experience all of it. I have had so much fun this last couple weeks, whether it's taking a walk at sunset at Hyde Park, walking up and down the Thames after work, going to the pub for a pint with my co-workers...it's really no one's fault but your own if you can't have a good time here. :) I'm sure the rosy outlook will fade and the stress of the city will get to me, probably right about the time winter drags on to March, but, for now, I'm loving it.

Last Sunday I went to Brighton beach with my flatmate and it was such a pretty day, and the beach was cool - all pebbles, no sand - totally different feeling to walk on pebbles. It's convenient for day trips though - you can sit down in your clothes and not get sand everywhere. Pics are on flickr.

I had a tour of Mayfair's high-end clubs last week on a random Wednesday night out with my flatmate - both places, Sketch and Mahiki, were past their peak of hip/exclusivity, but still places I wouldn't have ventured without the company of my flatmate's friend and boyfriend, who are both well-connected. (to satisfy the urge to sound cool, Justin Timberlake had a party at Mahiki recently)

Saturday I attempted american-style pancakes with the crew here, but gave up after one and went with crepes - tasted much better that way in the end! It was fun to have a big breakfast and then go back to bed :D Went shopping, wandered through the market and then hit the touristy, but fun, Carnaby Street, where I had coffee with a friend and found boots, natural shampoo, and another friend at a pub :)

Saturday night, after getting all done up to go to one of the few spots in West London, we ended up abandoning the bad music there and going to a friend's flat to dance until 4am to the music he mixed. It was so unplanned and so fun!! I have lucked out so incredibly with my flatmates - I love them all :)

Sunday was a day of rest - as in waking up at 2pm, sitting around all day watching movies and ordering in Thai food. My flatmate, the multi-talented Alessandra, touched up my highlights and cut my hair, while I ate bon-bons and lusted after Daniel Craig in "Layer Cake" (ok there were no bon-bons, just some biscuits and crisps).

Yesterday after work I met a friend in Soho for dinner at Soho Pizzeria while listening to jazz piano, then stopped into my other flatmates bar for some yummy cocktails :) I don't know whether it was the cocktail, the coffee in the cocktail, the beautiful weather (beautiful for London, ok, it's sad that 65degrees F on a July night is beautiful, but it is!) or what, but I was in an unbelievably good mood. And it's lasted through today...really the last few days - I'm dealing with stress at work a bit better, settling into my new job responsibilities, I have met some cool people, and have options of what to do and where to go. It's a good feeling. Today, I was completely spontaneous - I missed the train by 2 secs (kinda like Sliding Doors) and so I decided not to wait 10 minutes for the next one, adn started walking in the general direction of home. It would take me an hour to walk the whole way, but I knew there were some shops on the way home, so I headed out, found Kensington High Street, wandered in the perfect 70 degree sun, ended up in the Whole Foods for a quick taste of the US, and just got back, exercised, relaxed, and happy. :)

Okay, so I obviously just tried to make up for the long silence in blogging by writing way more than anyone has probably read, but I feel better anyway.

It's summer! ...and it's 60?

Okay, so you know all those jokes I made after the trips in March and April that were so gorgeous? When I said that London was pulling a great sales job on me and as soon as I got there it would be over? I was right. The weather has stunk in glorious fashion since the day I arrived. Sigh. I've been a bit gloomier myself this week, but I think I'm starting to pick back up slowly. The weekend was so miserable I hardly did anything after a wild outing Friday night to the pub where my flatmate works. I did the standard pint after work outing, except I forgot to eat, and found myself a bit queezy when 11pm rolled around! Lesson 1 for survival in Britain: find food when finding beer.

I bought a keyboard Saturday!! It's a Korg N1, not quite as nice a piano sound as my Kurzweil, but still 88 fully weighted keys, MIDI capable and all that jazz. And only £150, which is exactly what I was hoping I would pay. I still need to buy speakers for it, for now I'm stuck using headphones, which I never can really get used to - part of what i love about playing the piano/keyboard/whatever is filling the room and completely surrounding myself with the sound. Sigh...oh for the day when I live somewhere with my own piano again!

Continuing with my personal development, I started Spanish classes last night! And Lulu is reimbursing the tuition, which is awesome. Having a class of people to practice with will help, and then I need to find some more Spanish speakers around here.

Tonight my office is going out to dinner - one of the few Mexican places in London, apparently, so that should be fun. Especially with the coupons for two free bottles of wine :)

Can you tell I had some free time tonight?

Bam! There's my photos on flickr on my blogger. And I changed the template to an equally ugly setting, but I'm thinking I will get really adventurous and do more creative stuff. I work for a technology company, I should be able to write some decent html, right?

I went out and had ''a pint" after work last night, so I think I'm officially a London resident! Although this happened on the same day that I took the wrong bus in the morning and turned a 20 minute commute into an hour and 20 minutes. So maybe I have a little ways to go...

To get to work, I first have to get to the tube station. I can either be lazy and take a bus, or walk about 15 minutes. It's a nice stroll down Ladbroke Grove, which cuts through the heart of Notting Hill - the famous bit and scenes from the movie are on the other side of Portabello Road and the tube station from me. So I'm really close to really posh, getting access to the really cool without the really expensive housing cost. Gotta love overusing a word like really. :D Anyway, the Underground line i take is the Hammersmith and City line, which, crazy enough, takes me right to Hammersmith where I step off the train and walk about 2 minutes to my office. Hammersmith is not a bad place to work, there are coffee shops, restaurants, and a Primark, Primark being the awesomely cheap store where I found heaps of clothes on Saturday. So yes, London is the 2nd most expensive place to live in the world, BUT you can still find a cute tunic dress for 8 GBP, so somehow I should survive. I have settled into a good routine with food, too, I fixed my lunch today, cooked dinner tonight...that's where I have to be the most disciplined. With coffee, drinks, snacks, and lunch, it's easy to spend over 10 GBP a day just eating. We'll leave transportation costs for another time...yikes...

First week in review...

Alright - where to start?

I arrived Monday and didn't really stop to chill out until yesterday - went into work on Monday, worked a loonng day on Tuesday, slept really late on Wednesday but still worked a full day, and then on Thursday I got to go to Falmouth, which is a quiet beach town in the very southwest edge of England. I am trying to figure out the best place to put my photos, maybe flickr or picasa, so that when I go on little trips like this people can see them.
It was a really long train ride, which is kind of aggravating for how quick a trip it was, but on the way there I was with a co-worker, so it passed painlessly. We were giving a presentation on Lulu that night to a writer's center class, so it was a cool experience, but 5 hours on the train both ways was definitely not the highlight. I got to see a nice survey of the English countryside as a bonus :)

I got back Friday night and just hung out in the flat, my flatmate had food poisoning so a friend of hers came over and it was a low-key evening. Saturday we went shopping, I got more stuff for my room and the flat and lots of cute clothes, which was very fun. Then I met two friends of my flatmate - one Swedish and one Thai - and we had dinner and drinks outside at a pub in Notting Hill. I love how international London is!

I'm settling into life pretty well, I like my flatmates, like the flat, job is going well so far - it's almost been a boring week it's gone so smoothly. Hopefully I'll get some pictures up and some more exciting stories.

I have arrived :)

Wow, I'm really here. I'm in my new bed, listening to the London traffic through my window, in my flat. I have a bank account, all three of my bags, the extra stuff I left here last time, groceries, towels, sheets...it's been a busy day! I even put in a couple hours at the office, just to show off and go out for a pint with some co-workers. :) Seriously, I went to go see everyone and make sure I wouldn't be swamped tomorrow.

So the noise will take getting used to after the nice quiet yard I had in North Carolina, and my feet and back have returned to the brutality of adjusting to walking on concrete. I don't think I'm actually registering the fact that this isn't just another business trip. Or maybe I am, and I've just become un-disrupable. haHAhahhahah. um, yeah.

I will make it my goal to have my room clean by the weekend so I can take some pictures. Right now I have to get sleep. And lots of it!

the time is now...

I just got home from my going away party (the second of two) and that familiar feeling of "wow I will miss these people...why am I leaving just as I'm starting to get to know them and really have a good time?" was washing over me in the last 30 minutes. I do this too much. The constant moving can be draining, and I always have a night like this where I think maybe I should try the stable life. Find somewhere, be happy, stay there. But then I am soon reminded that the only reason I have been so happy the last few months is because I knew I was leaving. I don't start opening up until I see the 'light at the end of the tunnel". So I think back to how really bored and unhappy I was in Raleigh for the majority of 2006, and then look again at 2007, where I first knew I might move to London in January, and the five really cool months I have had are put back in perspective. Yes, ideally I would meet these friends and make these connections even if I wasn't leaving, but that's not the way I work. I'm just not there yet, who knows if I ever will be.

I leave for the airport in just over 12 hours - gotta get to bed! Way too much to do before leaving - all the last minute stuff I couldn't do until now, like wash the last of the laundry, pack up shampoo and makeup, fold up sheets and completely empty my room....That's the aggravating part of moving/flying - you can get 95% done, but that last 5% will kill you, and can't be done in advance!

I did sell my bed already, so I've spent one night on the couch and one on a makeshift bed in my room. I'm in the nostalgic, I'm going to miss people mood already, so I will end this post to make way for the excited OH MY GOSH I'M IN LONDON posts to follow :)

Could the day be any better?

I'm on cloud nine. Today starts with the arrival of my passport with visa stamped, approved, and valid for me to work in the UK for five years. Woot! Then, I have productive morning at work, a great lunch with my mom, plan my going away party this weekend, ship my golf clubs and music books through our UPS account, and get home before 5. At 5:30, the two guys who were interested in renting my house came by, and both were happy, and they're all set to move in July 1st! Oh, and did I mention my brother had pizza waiting for me when I walked in the door?

From there I go to kickball (yet another reason Lulu is the best place to work ever - we have an intramural kickball team), and we have an awesome showing for the first game in the playoffs and win a close game. I come home, and in cleaning out the closet, my brother finds the CD of the awesome Congolese music I fell in love with when I was in South Africa - I had given up on finding it.

Okay, I've probably ruined whatever crazy good luck I had going today by talking about it, so I better get to bed on this high :) I fly to the UK in FIVE DAYS!!!

the insanity begins...

Okay, I have SEVEN DAYS before I leave - time to start the whirlwind of activity to get everything done before leaving at 5pm on Sunday, June 10. I can't believe this is finally happening after so many delays and so much time looking forward to it!

I got my work permit on Wednesday, which left just barely enough time for me to overnight it to New York for a courier service to take my passport and the permit and my life on paperwork in an envelope over to the embassy, get it stamped and mailed back to me by Tuesday or Wednesday of this coming week. Whew! I then purchased my plane flight, picking a return date of the Saturday before Thanksgiving, since I will probably want to come home around that time. So I was feeling great with those two major details finally take care of.

Then the bad news arrived - my brother has decided to go back to Wake Forest to work there and go to school part-time and finish his degree. The real bad news was that he lost his job here in RTP, where he was really happy. So it's actually good news for him to have a plan he is excited about, just makes my life extremely complicated for the next few days. I have to find a home for my cat, another roommate for the guy moving into the house, and get alllllllll of my stuff out, rather than just some of it, since Matt won't be there to let me use my house as storage! Help...
Fortunately, some things are already falling into place, but I can tell I won't have much free time over the next few days! I did some major packing and planning today, which was encouraging. I had not realized how ridiculously expensive shipping boxes would be, so I had to re-think my use of moving expense money and find other ways to get my stuff over the pond. I'm going with a strategy of checking one excess bag, leaving one bag for my mom to bring when she visits, shipping 3 boxes with UPS, and giving lots of clothes I don't wear much anymore to goodwill. :) It's amazing how much less you care about stuff when it's a huge hassle to keep it!

I have a flat!

No, I don't mean my tire blew out, I mean I have a place to live in London. :) I got confirmation today that the wire transfer for my deposit went through, so I have a place to call home when I arrive in the UK. Whenever that ends up being...right now I'm in this aggravating unknown space. My work permit got held up because they had the company name wrong, so it could take another three weeks before I have the paperwork. !!!! Not excited about that, because if it does take that long, I will have to fly to New York on the way to London to go to the embassy and get my visa stamped. If it comes sooner, I could just overnight my passport there and back. We'll see.

But the point is, I am going to be living in Notting Hill (not because of the movie), which is such a cute area! I'm technically north of Notting Hill, but close enough to say I live there. I can walk to Portabello Road where there is an awesome market on Saturdays - reminds me of Salamanca Market in Tasmania. Except it's massive. But on the gorgeous April day when I was there, even the hourdes of people didn't bother me, the sun was shining, musicians were playing, avocados were rolling in the street...okay that last one was just odd, but it was still a cool experience overall. I did a horrible job taking pictures this trip, so I've resorted to stealing other peoples. Actually, why do we have to take our own photos of landmarks and tourist sites anyway? Unless you're going to put yourself in the picture (which I hate doing at truly beautiful places...don't pollute the idyllic scene with my stupid grinning face) why not leave it to the professionals? Maybe I'll just give up picture-taking altogether, just start using images off the web. There certainly are enough pictures out there to cover even the crazy places I end up going!

So that's Notting Hill, where I have a flat and will have two cool roommates. At least, I think they are, and we clicked amazingly well when we met. I'll have to put up pictures of the flat when I move. Might even actually take the pictures myself. ;)

Late 20's

Wow, so today I hit 28. All in all a good birthday, but a long one! I started the morning in DC, left at 6am and went straight to work, arriving at 10:00am - still not sure how I did that. The drive is supposed to be almost 5 hours from DC to Raleigh...hmm...

I managed to stay somewhat coherent at work, got to go out for lunch with a group of my favorite Lulu's (people that work at www.lulu.com). Then I took a nap and had dinner with my brother, my friend Hope and her husband Will. You can check out my new bangs/fringe look in the pic...I'm still getting used to peering through hair to view the world, but it's fun to have a different hairstyle.


Going in reverse, yesterday was another big day - I sold yet another large possession, my Kurzweil PC-88 keyboard. A great instrument - we've been through a lot together, and I will miss the nice piano sound of that thing. But it has a good home in DC with a friend who used to play with me at a church in Columbia years ago.

Then I got to see my friend Andrea, who I met studying abroad, and her newly expanded family - had a baby on Wednesday. I'm not the biggest baby person, but he's pretty cute, and it was cool that the timing worked out so I was there and got to see him.

And of course, there was the showing up on Ryoko's doorstep without warning, one of the most consistent marks of our friendship :) I will miss her, and having that place to visit randomly.

I love driving to DC. There's just something about crossing the Potomac on I-395 and heading into the nation's capitol that makes me swell up with a very strange emotion. I just love it! Partly because I have such good memories and friends there, partly because it's pretty to look at, and I guess partly because of the whole patriotic connection.


Before that, I was at my friend's wedding in Richmond with a reunion of the "Maxcy girls" from my freshman year in college. I really was lucky to end up with such a great group of friends - we all met in the first couple weeks of moving into the University of South Carolina, and have stayed in touch ever since.

The wedding itself was beautiful - outside on a perfect April day. I played the piano for the ceremony - which I was happy to do, and love being able to share my music with my friends special day. But it does severely limit one's view of the actual wedding...

I think I'll save the London trip for another post - sleep is calling!

Easter Irony

My cat just killed a baby bunny. Looked exactly like this, maybe 5 inches long, cutest thing I have ever seen. On Easter freakin' sunday!!!

I heard this squeaking sound outside, and half-joking said to my brother, I hope Xai-Xai isn't killing something. Then opened the door to look outside and she's running up the stairs to show off her prey. All I saw was something hanging out of her mouth, and I quickly shut the door and screamed, thinking it was a rat. Then I open back up to go out and do damage control, and this pathetic little adorable ball of fluff is squirming there on my porch! Help! We called the emergency animal center to see what to do, but it died while I was on the phone, Matt was sitting with it trying to see where it was injured. Sigh. I don't think I can look at my cat the same way....I wonder if she's making some sort of religious statement. She's never hurt anything more than a lizard and maybe one mouse, yet she kills a BABY BUNNY on Easter Sunday, which is still kinda freaking me out.

Sigh. This is turning into a horribly weird Easter weekend.