Belonging

Okay technically I missed a day. But only in the calendar sense. This is still Friday for me, so I'm considering this my blog for the day. :)

I had a great night out last night, and as I walked home in the brisk London air, with my trench coat and scarf and boots and skinny jeans, I had this calm sense of "I belong here." Not like some sky-parting amazing revelation, not even an overwhelming happiness or excitement - just a raw, honest feeling that I fit in this city. It's been a really long time since I could say with any confidence that I belonged where I was. I've wanted to be where I was, liked where I was, all that, but I think the last time I had this solid a connection with my life was in Australia when I studied abroad. But even that was less real, as I knew the whole time it was only for one semester. When you know something has an end date, it's automatically a different dynamic - like getting involved with someone when you know you or they are moving at a set date. You are more open to certain things, while guarding others a little closer. At least that's how I am. But the point of all this is to say that my living in London is an open-ended situation AND I feel like it's exactly where I should be. Which is kinda scary. I'm such a commitment-phobe that the thought of staying somewhere a year is suffocating. But if I'm this content in another 6 months, why should I leave? Obviously, there's a very good chance that in 6 months I don't feel I belong anymore, but I always would not be surprised if this lasted.

All I can say is that it will be fun to see how it unravels...