"Home"

Okay, so there went NaBloPoMo...there really isn't internet in the mountains, and I was there Wednesday - Saturday. Those days were perfect though, and the drive up to the mountain house was beautiful! I arrived just after dinner, Mom and Alan and Matt were already there, so we had a nice, relaxing evening - played the Wii and pool and watched the second half of"The Family Man" with Nicolas Cage on TV.
Thursday brought my aunt and uncle and cousins, and the turkey, and the deep frier! So funny that we do that now - plop the turkey in a vat of boiling oil. Tastes good though, apparently. I, having my annual slice of turkey on the day, am not the best judge of good turkey, but everyone seems to like the flavor and moistness of a fried turkey. That's the good ole southern US for ya - nothing there is to eat that wouldn't taste better fried!

Friday we put up the Christmas tree. I think that's the earliest we've even done it, Matt had to go back to Winston to work, so that was our last chance for everyone to be there until I come back for Christmas. He left, and Mom and Alan and I spent a while analyzing the best way to renovate the kitchen for when they move up to that house. It was fun to talk it out and I think we found a good plan - it's weird to think that in just a couple years they will be up there full time! I love that house more and more every time I go, it's like I've already started moving the place in my heart that is 'home' from the Cary house to there. I think I've been doing that for a while, actually.

We went to a cute restaurant for dinner in Hillsville, and I made the (questionable) choice of eating a steak. Hick town USA is not the place to go for your once-every-six-months steak, just in case you were wondering. So stupid, shouldn't have wasted it on that. Oh well. Tomorrow starts the diet. I don't know what happened, but it's like 10 pounds just sprouted out of nowhere. So aggravating! It wasn't T-day either, they arrived a couple weeks ago.

Saturday I drove through Winston to eat lunch with Matt and check out his new house, which was cool. Then I spent the last bit of my budget for clothes and Christmas gifts at Southpoint on the way home. Okay I spent more than the last bit. I am bah-ro-oke. But shouldn't have to purchase anything to wear for the rest of the season. May WANT to, but I can actually get dressed in the mornign in less than 30 minutes now, because I have things that are warm and fit - wonderful combination!

My trek to DC to fly home was such fun! A co-worker from London who was also in town took me to Smithfield to meet my friend Carmen and her husband, who were driving up from Columbis to Richmond. Then just outside Richmond, we met my aunt Kate, who was in town from Wyoming. She drove me back to her sisters/my other aunt's house, and my cousin came over and we had a good visit - and watched SNF :) I love football. Definitely on the short list of things I really miss!

Monday I went to Montpelier with my aunts - they are renovating it to restore to how it was when the Madison's owned it, so it's cool to see all the stuff they are finding and doing.

After lunch, we packed up, drove to Yoders - coolish country store you'll find - and then on to the airport to fly me home. I love saying that about London. "I'm going home on Tuesday"...so crazy I live here!

I'll have to stop - really freakin tired

Pampering

It's so much fun to take the time and let yourself be spoiled from time to time. I went to the mall after work to get a coat, and walking through Saks I saw a YSL counter, only time I've seen one in the US. They have this awesome foundation, Perfect Touch, that brushes on. Anyway, I could actually justify paying for it in dollars, so I plopped down and let the saleslady find the right colour and go on to make my skin look better than it has in months. It was such fun to relax and let someone use you as a palette :).

I did get a great coat, some sweaters, and a bagload of lotions in this 5 for $25 sale at Bath and Body Works. Now all I have left is to get luggage for overnight or weekend trips, and I can go home well stocked for the next few months. I'll have to pull out a couple of these every so often to help deal with how broke I'll be for the rest of the month!

I'm sorry, have we met?

So I had a fun start to the day - I arrived too early to get in the building without a keycard, so I walked over to our PR Director, who had just pulled in the parking lot, and said "Hi! Can you let me in?" She said hi, with a curious tone, not at all like she would have if she recognized me, and then I made another comment about the doors and not having a key, and then she said, I don't think I've met you...and I laughed and said it's me, Jennie! And she connected and laughed and it was a fun moment to retell at work. In general, it was great to be back in the office, to see everyone and 'sync' up again. I sound like I'm an iPod or something.

Tonight, I went to the very American Carolina Ale House with my Mom for a yummy salad, Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale, and a really good visit. My friend Hope came and joined us for dessert, then she and I went on to shop for a bit, and have coffee at Barnes and Noble. I had another "who are you" moment, but it was more the existential kind...Hope is a true gem of a friend, not just because she is, in fact, a great friend, but because she is the only person I have ever met that shares my evangelical Christian home-schooled background, yet can talk frankly about our questions and discuss wildly different ideas together. So as we were talking, I found myself thinking, who is this girl saying all these ideas that should be so radical, yet seem so comfortable? It's cool that this version of me can still be such close friends with this version with her. It was a good thing, though. Really good.

Church, football, shopping

I managed to fit most of the essential elements of life in Cary all in one day! Went to my Mom and Alan's new church this morning, which was a good thing I think - got me out of the house at a decent hour! I hadn't been to a traditional-style Methodist service in a while, so it was a weird trip back in time...the organist made a few mistakes here and there, which made me feel better. Strange how the performance anxiety from5 years ago can come back so quickly! I can still remember the first few Sundays at Windsor UMC in South Carolina, when I would sweat through the whole service, concentrating so hard on not messing anything up. I had this impression that I would ruin the whole religious experience if I played at the wrong time or hit a wrong note somewhere. Fortunately, I relaxed over time, and could actually enjoy it somewhat.

Anyway, then it was home for my favorite meal from growing up - tomato soup and grilled cheese :D. It was kind of a "last supper" as I'm going to go vegan tomorrow. Tired of this excess weight, feeling sluggish, having horrible skin...I will use Shaklee to supplement while I'm finding the best ways to get all the protein and vitamins I need to be healthy. Shaklee is one of the only vitamin companies I trust - they do extensive market research and CNN recently featured an article where they found that Shaklee's supplements were the only 'brand' shown to have a measurable impact on overall health when taken on a regular basis.

Then of course, it was football. Nothing quite like curling up on the couch to watch NFL on a Sunday. I even got to see the Steelers! Except they lost. In overtime. To the Jets. Who were 1-8. Sigh.

Went shopping with Mom, first to help her find some new trousers for her ever-slimming self, and for me to enjoy the wonder that is the pound-to-dollar exchange rate these days. :)

Very satisfying first day back. Now I have to get a good night's sleep and get to the office...will be fun to show off the new look!

24 hours

I've now been awake exactly 24 hours "today" - my alarm went off at 7am this morning in my room in London, and I just know curled into bed, booted up my computer and started writing at 7am (UK time), or 2am (EST). Crazy how the combination of a plane trip and some wine can create a time warp the body is just NOT preparted to handle! I just fell asleep for a couple seconsds while driving home at least three times. Scary!

Anyway, nothing intelligent I can say on the 1/8 brain power I have right now...I'm "home" thought - have internet, yummy bagels, and football!

Going "home"

So tomorrow I head off to the airport and go back to the US. This will be my second trip since moving, and I'm really excited about it. The last trip was out of desperation, almost, i was so frustrated with work I was dying to get back and re-set my life :) This time, everything is much better, I like work, I like my life, I'm just heading for an awesome week seeing family and friends and, of course, Thanksgiving!

It's been a weird week, went by really quickly with all the travel and events. I have to get up pretty early to get to the airport so nothing much to say tonight. Except that delivery in a big city is 10x better than I'm used to. Thai, Sushi, Indian, Pizza...all just a phone call away!

The English Gentleman

I missed a day!! :( I didn't bring a computer with me on a business trip to the seaside and realized when I arrived that I was going to miss a day of posting. Sigh.

The trip was great, I was amazingly comfortable spending a good part of 24 hours in the company of middle-aged men who all know a heck of a lot more than I do about printing and publishing, and have a completely different life than I do. It's quite a feeling to be the youngest and the only female in a business meeting at the same time. At dinner on Thursday when I was surrounded by five businessmen, I remember thinking, Okay I could get intimidated, or I could really enjoy this! And I enjoyed it, for the most part.

Two of the men were what I would consider the quintessential English gentleman. I think I found the conversations at dinner and the meetings so stimulating partly because of how much I just loved listening to them talk! Something about the accent, the proper way of speaking, drinking brandy after a nice meal - it all made me feel like I was being transported back about 100 years. Plus it was an older beach town where we stayed in the "Grand Hotel" and I had lounge chairs and tapestry curtains in my room, which certainly added to the effect!

One outcome of the trip is that I am definitely motivated to get my act together to keep holding my own in these settings. I don't necessarily feel I have more to prove because I'm young and a woman, but certainly don't want the fact that I am young and a woman to be the only things that come across, and having nothing to add to the conversation is a sure-fire way to allow someone's mind to rest on those facts. At the Book Awards, there was an older man who made a few comments that I should be promoted and told my boss why isn't she running things, can't you see "talent"...and I have never spoken to him before, leaving me to assume the 'talent' he is referring to is my ability to look fashionable at an event. Now, he could know my boss or have talked to a colleague across the table who knew me, but I am always scared of the assumption that I achieved something on looks or charm, maybe too much so. Regardless, it motivates me to work hard, so I'm not too worried with getting over that fear. In another few years, when I have even less chance of that assumption being made, I'll have to find something else to motivate me ;)

Overdressed, underdressed?

Which do you prefer - showing up on the upper end of the average attire or the bottom end? Attract sympathy for being the shabby one, or envy/contempt for looking too good? I had my outfit all planned for the British Book Design and Production Awards tonight, and found out just as I was leaving to go home and change that it might be less dressy than I thought. And I had the option when I got back to dress down and go more middle of the road, but decided, what the heck, I have a completely coordinated look all ready to go, I'll feel sexy and confident in it, why stress with coming up with a new plan? So on went the dress, the tights, the Prada heels, the pearls, the makeup, the totally straight hair, the handbag, the wrap, and the coat, and off I went. :) And I was right where I like being, not the one in the evening dress, but the top-tier of classy, good-looking women. I like being the under-dressed one only when I haven't put any effort into my appearance...not when I've tried but in the wrong category and thus failed.

Anyway, I had a great time, it was more entertaining than you might think a bunch of bookworms would be ;)

Panic shopping

I really really hate shopping on a deadline. Especially in the crowded streets of Oxford Circus in November! Christmas is already in London - they turned on the lights this week, and Monday night at 7pm is shopping time. I almost bought an overpriced "vintage" handbag in the mind-numbing frenzy just because I needed SOMETHING to go with my outfit tomorrow...fortunately I am saved yet again by my amazing flatmate for jewelry and handbag.

I'm soo tired...plan was to be asleep super early, but I lost an hour somewhere and now it's 11:30, early than usual but not enough to make a difference in how I feel tomorrow.

The hair was fun today, love getting that immediate reaction from people!

Prada. Mine.

I love London. I love that I can get up on a Sunday, take the bus a few minutes, and be in this amazing second-hand shop that has a whole wall of shoes in glass cabinets, with Dior, Marc Jacobs, fill-in-the-blank kick-ass designer shoes for a fraction of the price. So I am now the proud owner of these fabulous Prada shoes.


They match my hair :D Craziness. I'm borrowing a friend's dress, just need to find a handbag that doesn't destroy the outfit, and learn how to put on makeup. I'm going to have fun with my bold hair, being a bit more bold with my face and clothes. Maybe I'll be be more bold all around. It's amazing how different hair change my personality. I love it. :) I haven't done this drastic a change in a while, and I can't wait to walk into work tomorrow!

Hair!

So I have cool hair - totally unplanned, I was thinking I would just go boring and cover up all the grown-out dying blonde with a dark shade, and then when my flatmate started pulling out all the different options, we got creative! I think I'll have fun being not normal again. :) I've been pretty straight-laced in the hair department since I had purple streaks two years ago - that ended up a rough experience when I went to teach in Malaysia, so I think I'm just now brave enough to try it again. Although this time it's not purple, just really dark with some blue-black bits and blonde highlights. Hard to describe, I'll take a photo when it's not 1:30 am and I'm not falling asleep while trying to type...

I might get to play golf again tomorrow! Although it will probably rain, which is probably just as well because I need to go shoe-shopping for the British Book Awards on Tuesday. :)

Went to see the piano, and....I loved it! Hopefully it all works out from here and I'll have one here either before I head to NC on Saturday, or at least soon after I get back.

Yay weekend

I finally feel normal-ish. Whether it's the fact that it's Friday, or my stomach is just settling down because it has to, it was nice to actually feel like going out for a drink after work, then picking out a movie to rent and head home to curl up on the couch with some sushi. :) Found a place just down the road last week that delivers here. Sushi - delivered! How cool is that?

I'm now watching Sex and the City DVD's, thinking of my house and how different life was in NC. It's comforting in a way that the only things I really miss had to change whether I moved to London or not. Like having my brother as a housemate and watching TV series on DVD.

I don't have much to say today, except that I hope this piano I go see tomorrow is worth the wait and trouble!

No help from the roses

You are a Lavender Rose

You represent love at first sight and enchantment. Your vibe: intense and intriguing Falling in love with you is: deep and meaningful

What Color Rose Are You?

I think it's fun how in subtle ways google, blogs, magazines, emails, etc, exposes everyone's need to know who they are, how they are - we all (hopefully) are aware a 5 question quiz can't really offer any insight into our destiny, but there's still that bit of hope that I find creeping up in me when I finish one - is it going to get me? Is this rose thing going to give me a new way to explain myself? I'm especially vulnerable at the moment, as the interesting and somewhat unfortunate side affect of NaBloPoMo has been the end of avoiding introspective questions. The busier, more exciting life is, the less time you have to think about what the point of your busy, exciting life is!

Anyway, so I am, according to blogthings, a Lavender Rose, with an intense and intriguing vibe. Hmmm. Not too bad, actually. The love at first sight part is crap, as that's never come close to happening and probably never will - not to be pessimistic, I just know I don't really work that way as a norm. But if nothing else, the fact that I care about what a quiz determines about me is a pretty good reinforcement of the conclusion that I need to start sorting myself out before I implode. I have finally faced up to the fact that there is no viral or bacterial problem with my stomach, I'm just stressed out.

Piano

I finally got news today that I can see the piano I've been waiting to see for weeks! This is such good news, because every time I go to play the 'thing' that masquerades as a keyboard in my room I am so frustrated and disappointed I get put off after 15minutes. I know, music brings out my diva side :) Anyway, if I don't like it when I actually get to play and see this instrument, I will have to laugh at myself. But I've got the name of the place where I'll rent from if this falls through, so either way, by the time I go home for Thanksgiving, I will have music!

I got really down and out about life and work on the way home today - came home at lunch ill again - and starting thinking that maybe I should find a place where I can at least work as a part time accompanist or volunteer or something. Did I little searching, found nothing. It would be manic to work at Lulu and have a part-time gig, even if it was just for fun and no pay, so I guess it's good there was no shining opportunity to strike me in a moment of weakness.

work-a-holic-ness

I know I keep making up words, but this one I totally think should be one. How is it so ingrained in my being to work all the time that I take a sick day, yet spend it online with my work emails, still call in my conference call meeting for an hour, and spend the rest of the time thinking about work? I never wanted this part of my life. The whole office-computer-politics-career-9to5 (or 7 or 8) part. Usually, I can ignore it, just enjoy everything that starts after I leave the office, but whenever I stop and think "why do I do what I'm doing?" I can never really come up with a good answer. It's challenging, it's something different, it's a great company, it's the reason I live in a cool city like London...but none of these are substantial enough to merit looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an aging, fattening, stressing version of myself.

Do I have the guts to change though? Or more practically, the means to make a change? Or more truly, do I have a compelling enough end to justify the means it would take to make a change?

Sick-ish

I must have bragged too much about not being sick in a while, because I am feeling like I have a fever. :( The worst part is that I can finally watch an NFL game tonight - the Steelers are playing the Ravens for Monday Night Football. But that means it starts at 1:30am. And I really should go to bed and get my rest. Arrgh! Football evades me again - if there were football gods I would say they were laughing at me. Everytime there has supposed to be a game on TV, something has bumped it off the schedule. Last night I paid to download Game Pass from Yahoo so I could see the Indy/New England game...and AFTER I paid, it said the game was restricted from the UK. That's it, the only country excluded outside the US other than Spain, the country where I live.

Sorry this turned into a whinge session! Hazards of blogging ill...I really did plan to try and write intelligent, insightful things every so often, so maybe if I end up staying home sick from work tomorrow I'll have time to do that. If not, I may take the noble gesture and quit NaBloPoMo to spare everyone this pointlessness dribble. :)

Church

So this afternoon I went to St. Pauls Cathedral for Evensong with a friend. It was so cool. The cathedral itself is stunning, and then sitting there with the organ and choir - complete with boys choir and perfect voices creating ethereal sounds floating through the air - it just made for a relaxing trip to serenity in the midst of busy London life. Even the sermon was that much more meditative as the speaker's voice echoed through the stone to resonate with your soul, whether or not your brain was registering the logic and point of the words she spoke.

As I sat there, I realized this was the first time I'd been to church since I had moved. And as I found myself referring back to my upbringing and religious beliefs in what I think was the fourth or fifth serious discussing about faith and religion in the last few weeks, I was struck by several comments in this one. My friend Ro remarked, after I said I was raised super-religious, that I didn't come across that way. Which is awesomely refreshing. I have always been the good girl, the Christian one, the church-goer, etc. To just be ME, whatever and whoever that is, without the pre-packaged expectations and perceptions, is really freeing. And I think that's my favorite part about life here. I am free to be who I want to be, and who I really am, without the history and baggage of my life in the US. Obviously, I can't just keep escaping and re-inventing myself, but I know that has been a big factor in how much I love living here, and I think that every so often, it's a good thing to do.

Day Trip

So I've been wishing I could get to the mountain house - just needing a quick escape from the city. This week was kinda rough at work, and I've been more stressed lately. So last night before heading out for the evening, my friend Carolyn and I were drinking wine (we started this last friday, went and got a couple bottles of wine, instead of beer, from the shop across the street) and de-stressing. I mentioned I wanted to take a day trip somewhere to just get out of the city, and she jumped on board with the idea and we looked at a couple websites, then just picked a town off the map - Southend by the sea - and made a plan! We met at the train station at 11pm and headed off on an hour journey. It was a gorgeous day, walked along the beach - although this is a very different concept than NC beaches. More like walking on a promenade (road) next to a string of arcades, fish and chips stands, and kiddie roads. Anyway, we did that, ate fish and chips, went to an art gallery, played mini-golf, and then started walking down to where the "Big Beach Bang" was to be. That turned out to be 5.5 miles! But we had on comfy shoes and stopped for tea halfway, and fortunately had lots to talk about. Turned out to be a bit of a bust, so we took the train back, found a pub for a couple drinks and waited for the fireworks to start. Then headed back to the train station, grabbed Subway on the way, and rode home content. Tired, but happy. :) All in all it was a great way to spend a day out of London!


I really love how easy it is to go anywhere I want to go. 11.50 GBP and I'm on the beach, with different scenery, salty air, and a fun excursion begins. It really helps me not miss having a car - I can do the equivalent of what I would with a car, and have the added benefit of reading, playing cards, or talking without having to worry about focusing on the road. Only option I don't have is driving to the mountains or to see my family. The mountains...I will have to find a solution. Maybe I'll meet someone with a home, or try Wales...just need some place I know I can escape to!

Belonging

Okay technically I missed a day. But only in the calendar sense. This is still Friday for me, so I'm considering this my blog for the day. :)

I had a great night out last night, and as I walked home in the brisk London air, with my trench coat and scarf and boots and skinny jeans, I had this calm sense of "I belong here." Not like some sky-parting amazing revelation, not even an overwhelming happiness or excitement - just a raw, honest feeling that I fit in this city. It's been a really long time since I could say with any confidence that I belonged where I was. I've wanted to be where I was, liked where I was, all that, but I think the last time I had this solid a connection with my life was in Australia when I studied abroad. But even that was less real, as I knew the whole time it was only for one semester. When you know something has an end date, it's automatically a different dynamic - like getting involved with someone when you know you or they are moving at a set date. You are more open to certain things, while guarding others a little closer. At least that's how I am. But the point of all this is to say that my living in London is an open-ended situation AND I feel like it's exactly where I should be. Which is kinda scary. I'm such a commitment-phobe that the thought of staying somewhere a year is suffocating. But if I'm this content in another 6 months, why should I leave? Obviously, there's a very good chance that in 6 months I don't feel I belong anymore, but I always would not be surprised if this lasted.

All I can say is that it will be fun to see how it unravels...

NaBloWriMo

Okay, so I am using this as a way to motivate myself to write again. I've been watching TV and mindlessly surfing the internet much more than I would like, so the goal is to replace those two activities by writing in my blog and journal, and playing the piano. To help with goal A, I joined National Blog Writing Month, so I will have to remember to post once a day for the whole month of November! To help with goal B, I'm either buying or renting a piano. The piano I want to buy off gumtree (like craig's list) I can't seem to find a way to 'test drive'. So, if I still haven't made it out to see it this weekend, I will go to John Samuels to rent one.

I'm at work, so this initial post for the month will be brief and boring, but at least I can only improve from here for the next 30 days!