Wow, so my first and only 'real job' is finished - what a crazy ride it's been, too! I spent Thursday (my last day) sorting through emails, forwarding on contacts, making notes on everything I've done the last 2 years and 9 months...and then crying at my laptop while doing all those things. I thought I'd done all the mourning already, but apparently had some more to get out. :) Why do I get so attached to things like this?
Anyway, after all the tears, I slept like a baby Thursday night, and woke up with a huge smile on my face! I'm more sober about the future than the insane giddiness I had when I first decided to do this, but in a good way. I know it's not going to be easy to sell pianos in this economic climate, and I know that my other fun side projects may turn into nothing (or worse), but I would rather put myself out there doing something I love and fail miserably, than keep 'succeeding' at something that just drains me.
I was talking to this guy I met last night at a friend's party about how cool my old job was and how much I had loved it, but that I just burned out. Which is true - it used to do exactly what the shop does - I would leave in a better mood than I came in after a day at work there. That stopped about 18 months ago, but I couldn't leave the job without leaving London, so I stayed. Anyway, we were talking about average time spent at a job, and I said mine was six months, before Lulu. Which is crazy to remember back to the days when I floated from city to city, different jobs, different combinations of different jobs, always finding new ways to make money, do music, travel, and have a decent life. Lulu was such a departure, albeit a necessary and beneficial one, from the type of existence that suits my personality and interests. And now I'm slowly coming back to the freedom and variety I crave...and I think that's what is at the root of my happiness and peace about what is an incredibly risky move by most anyone's standards. Maybe I can't be quite as carefree at 29 as I was at 25, but I'm still young and healthy enough that I don't have to be stuck in a job just to have benefits.
And now, I'm going to go play the pianos for while :)
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